Thursday, April 19, 2018

Echo Chamber


Echo Chamber
(a play in 5 acts)


DRAMATIS PERSONAE, in order of appearance:

RAY PLUMLEE--husband of SUSAN and attorney at Drake & Plumlee Law Firm, Billings

TAMMY PLUMLEE--twin sister of CAM and a student at Hardin high school

SUSAN PLUMLEE--wife of RAY and professor of geology at Montana State, Billings

GABBY--‘Gift of Gab’ talk show host for southeast Montana

CAM PLUMLEE--twin sister of TAMMY and a student at Hardin high school

MARGUERITE--resident of Billings

MAX--her 5-year-old son

TRAVIS--Walmart shelf-stocker

JERILYN--Walmart customer service

RANDY--Walmart security guard

CURT CHANDLER--Walmart manager

DESERET--nursing home resident in Billings

LAWRENCE--nursing home resident in Billings

ELMER--nursing home resident in Billings

BERENICE--nursing home resident in Billings

MARY--secretary at Drake & Plumlee Law Firm

JENNIFER BARTON—legal aide at Drake & Plumlee Law Firm

HARVEY DRAKE--attorney at Drake & Plumlee Law Firm

SCOTT PELLEY--senior anchor at CBS News, Washington D.C.

ELIZABETH HERON--news correspondent for KTVQ (CBS) Billings

KEITH BABCOCK--news correspondent for KHMT (FOX) Billings

PENNIES--the Plumlee family’s cocker spaniel

SHERIDAN PLUMLEE--the oldest daughter, a journalism student at MSU, Bozeman

BARNEY--student at MSU, Billings

INEZ--student at MSU, Billings

GARY--crusader for the Church of Rapture

AARON TOMLINSON--rescue worker from the Billings Fire Department

TROY--Tammy’s boyfriend, from Hardin


ACTS and scenes: all set in Southeast Montana from November 2016 to December 2017:

DAY 1              Ii: unincorporated Benteen, Montana
                        Iii: Billings, inside Walmart
                        Iiii: at a Billings nursing home
                        Iiv: Drake & Plumlee Law Firm, downtown Billings
                        IIi: at the nursing home
DAY 2              IIii: Benteen, the next morning
                        IIiii: MSU lecture hall
                        IIiv: St Vincent hospital
                        IIIi: Mystic Park
                        IIIii: at the nursing home
                        IIIiii: Drake & Plumlee
                        IIIiv: MSU office of the department of Earth Sciences
                        IVi: Benteen, the Plumlee household
DAY 3              IVii: Benteen, the following morning
                        IViii: Drake & Plumlee
                        IViv: at the nursing home
DAY 4              Vi: at MSU, the next day
DAY 11            Vii: outside Walmart, the following week
DAY 41            Viii: Mystic Park, one month later
DAY 406          Viv: Benteen, one year later


Ii: unincorporated Benteen, Montana. RAY opens his garage door with a slap to the wall and gets into the driver’s seat of a Ford Fusion. His daughter TAMMY follows to the back seat, passenger side. RAY turns the ignition key halfway, and the jingle to Radio KHDN transitions from news headlines to ‘Gift of Gab’ and its theme music fading in.

‘There’s a song on the radio,
(radio craves to ring your bell)
It’s the same song you used to know,
(hurts like heaven and warms like hell)
And you really wouldn’t have it if you wanted to
but as long as you’re doing what you gotta do
on the freeway---you’re ok, free
on the freeway---even if you say:
That song hurts--that song hurts,
We sing it loud and strong, loud and strong
That song hurts--that song hurts,
I wonder what went wrong with that song
Far away…’

SUSAN: (stepping into the garage while shouting into the house) Cam, c’mon--you know Dad wants to be on the road by now.

TAMMY: (from the backseat) Tell her to bring my phone--it’s on my charger.

SUSAN: O, for God-- (louder back into the house) And get Tammy’s phone!

RAY: You don’t need it everyday, you know, especially if there’s one between you two--

TAMMY: Don’t economize us, Daddy--that whole ‘two for the price of one’ thing gets awfully old by now--

RAY: I didn’t mean it that way--

SUSAN: (getting into the passenger seat) Which way?

TAMMY: Dad thinks Cam’s phone suffices for both of us, ’cause, y’know, the twin package.

RAY: Not to tune you out, but… (turning up the volume) Gab’s on the air

GABBY: ‘And as ever I’ll remind my friends out there, drive carefully: I always got my two hands on the wheel and manage this live-stream through wireless hook-ups and a button at my thumb. Thinking of getting some of those Google glasses--iGlasses, I guess they call them, for proper confusion--something my grandma might understand, well, she’d say ‘specs’ instead of eyeglasses. Wonder if the Google team thought of that: ‘iSpecs’. Dibs on that trademark--you heard it here first’

SUSAN: She’s exhausting. Must we?

RAY: She’s stream-of-consciousness. I honestly doubt she speculated on the marketing of iGlasses before she said it.

SUSAN: And that makes her worth listening to?

RAY: Well, think about it: the things we buy into have a prescribed identity, probably conceived by marketing departments that have all kinds of tactics to try on us.

SUSAN: Us lab-rats.

RAY: Or us pioneers, depending.

GABBY: ‘Just a way of saying, don’t try this at home--home on the road, so to speak--if you don’t have the right apparatus. Montana highways are fast and free, but no place for handsets to fiddle with. I even saw one of our famous--maybe infamous--little white crosses in a side of the ditch where the weeds hadn’t come up yet, and it had a lanyard around it--you know, like the necklace-things we attach plastic badges to--only on this lanyard was, you can guess, a mobile phone. I’m not a fan of personalizing those memorials too much--’

TAMMY: The world’s a little preachy this morning.

RAY: Well, she’s got a point: you’re not a driver yet--

TAMMY: Should be.

CAM: (getting in) Should be what?

SUSAN: Driving without distraction. And, I’d say that pertains to audial distractions, too.

RAY: (pulling out of the garage and pushing the garage door button) Are you conflating radio with handset phones?

GABBY: ‘I had heard--and would be interested in your’all having heard it and possibly weighing in--that there is some chatter in Helena to legislate those crosses out of our lives altogether. Giving the state a bad rap, or billboarding the wrong kind of message, or presuming the crash victim would want it, especially if in their lives they had no great regard for a Christian cross. The issue, if it is one (not that politics decides), is practical--maintaining the roadsides--and philosophical--probing our patterns of life and the great beyond. I personally think that’

SUSAN: Are you not distracted with your mortality?

RAY: Not in the least. I’m invigorated by it. Say, on Sister!

SUSAN: And notice our offspring have tuned her out. Earbuds in at 7:08am, out for Spanish class, back in for math, P.E.? Girls, what’s the policy in P.E.?

CAM: (when tapped on the knee) Huh?

SUSAN: Do they let you have earbuds in for P.E.?

CAM: We don’t have P.E. anymore, Mom. That ended in 9th grade. But no, nobody wants that much iso.

SUSAN: Isolation?

CAM: What else?

RAY: Isotopes?

SUSAN: The danger of radioactivity?

CAM: The danger of being preachy.

RAY: That’s odd. Tammy just said that, I’m sure before you got into the car. Or am I mistaking? (tapping Tammy on the knee) Did you say that ‘preachy’ thing before Cam heard it?

TAMMY: (confused) What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.

SUSAN: You were commenting on the ‘Gift of Gab’ lady telling us not to multitask when driving.

TAMMY: Yeah, ok.

CAM: Then they’re asking me about P.E. and isolation, and Dad said something about radioactivity.

RAY: Isotopes. I was making a joke.

CAM: So I joked about being preachy.

TAMMY: And you’re waking me up for this? I get up a half-hour earlier than need be for your drive to Billings, so let me snooze.

CAM: (poking and whispering) Beauty sleep for Troy?

TAMMY: Why don’t you shush.

RAY: What?

TAMMY: (to her dad) Nothing... I trust you won’t crash.

RAY: Wait, were you listening to that little white crosses bit? What are you able to hear with those things on?

SUSAN: Maybe they’re listening to the same station.

GABBY: ‘And I think that takes us to a first caller, which, as ever, I need to trust is on topic and family-friendly. I only have a couple options at my thumb, but one of them is a delay button that, thankfully, I don’t need to press too often…’


Iii: Billings, inside Walmart. MARGUERITE rolls a rather loaded shopping cart slowly down the aisles, MAX tugging at what he can of her tightly wrapped, extra-large sweatshirt. The store is relatively empty, but a soft buzz of voices could be discerned if MARGUERITE and MAX stopped to listen. Instead, their voices add to general din.

MAX: Tell me, Momma, what else can I get?

MARGUERITE: What’s going on with all this fetching of items? Why you want to help so much today?

MAX: I like finding the stuff.

MARGUERITE: We’re almost full--no more stuff to find. Except maybe cutlets for dinner tonight.

MAX: I can get ’em.

MARGUERITE: No, you really can’t. Butcher wouldn’t like that. Hey, you can get a couple gallons of milk--you know where they are?

MAX: Yes, over there--

MARGUERITE: Two won’t be too heavy?

MAX: Mom, (scampering off) I’m strong!

MARGUERITE: (rolling her eyes) My little Hulk.

TRAVIS: (stocking shelves halfway down the aisle) Hogan?

MARGUERITE: More like the big green guy.

TRAVIS: Incredible?

MARGUERITE: Yeah, sometimes at least. Isn’t he the unsung hero that turns into the Hulk?

TRAVIS: So does Hulk Hogan, probably. They’re all cartoon characters.

MARGUERITE: Ha! meant to represent us.

TRAVIS: (bobbing his head in consideration, still stocking shelves) Who would you be?

MARGUERITE: Me? Not so many options. Especially for the supersized…

TRAVIS: I’m with you there. I mean,...we got Santa and Mrs Claus in our corner--

MARGUERITE: Jabba the Hutt.

TRAVIS: No, I heard that too many times in grade school. I like the Hulk.

MARGUERITE: Hogan?

TRAVIS: And the green guy, coming ’round the bend.

MAX: These, Momma? With the blue tops.

MARGUERITE: Yes, honey, they’ll do. There weren’t any pink tops?

MAX: I didn’t see. I can go back--

MARGUERITE: No, we’re good. But what’s up with all this helping?

TRAVIS: I smell a Christmas list…

MARGUERITE: Is that it? But we’re months away from that.

TRAVIS: Just weeks away from stocking Black Friday.

MAX: What’s that?

MARGUERITE: Never you mind. Time goes too fast around here. And I don’t believe in lists of who’s naughty and nice. I like it, Max, that you’re just naturally nice.

MAX: I did see a car over here I’d like…

TRAVIS: (mouthing towards MARGUERITE) ‘probably be gone by Black Friday!’

MARGUERITE: A car!

MAX: A remote-control. With fire coming out.

MARGUERITE: That sounds dangerous.

TRAVIS: Pretend fire, I bet.

MAX: Can you come and look?

MARGUERITE: (rolling her eyes while mustering some momentum to push the cart) I don’t feel like a Mrs Claus today…

TRAVIS: Just like at Macy’s--doesn’t hurt to look!

MARGUERITE: No Macy’s in Billings, thank goodness.

TRAVIS: Matter of time, probably.

MAX: (pulling the cart to travel the three aisles more quickly) It’s really cool, Momma, and like the man said, the flames are just pretend. And I’ll take good care of it and share--

MARGUERITE: With me? I don’t want to play with cars on fire--

MAX: With Daddy then, when he comes back--it could be a present for him!

MARGUERITE: (receiving the big box Max has thrust in her arms) He’ll want a smaller present than this. And less expensive.

MAX: How ’spensive?

MARGUERITE: Half this much. Do you know half of sixty dollars?

MAX: Um..

MARGUERITE: Even half’s too much. Put it back--the cart’s too full already.

MAX: I won’t! You’re not being fair.

MARGUERITE: Fair or not, put it back. As I said, there’s no naughty or nice in my book, but if Christmas will have it, we’ll see.

MAX: You’re trying to trick me.

MARGUERITE: (stretching to put the box on the top-most shelf) I’m not trying to trick you. We’ll keep it up there out of sight of other little boys, so it’s more likely to be there by…Black Friday. Now stay with the cart, cuz I have to go back to what I was meaning to get before this detour.

MAX: (pouting, under his breath) You like other stuff more than me.

MAX waits until his mother waddles around the aisle and then climbs up between the cart and the shelves to reach the remote-control car. He stands upright in the baby-seat part of the cart to push the box further into the top shelf, hiding it behind some smaller items. As he steps onto the cart’s handle for a final stretch, the cart flips a wheelie and rockets MAX downward with such force that he craters through the linoleum and what instantly becomes a crumbling hole in the concrete. Whatever cry might have eked out sinks as quickly into the abyss. The general din of the store’s atmosphere covers up the incident. MARGUERITE appears minutes later with four jars of spaghetti sauce balanced in her hands. She sees the upturned cart and stops, nonplussed. Then, running toward what she can’t believe is the hole, she drops the jars and screams.

MARGUERITE: Max! Where are you? What’s going on?

TRAVIS: (rounding the corner casually at first, assuming only a child’s mischief) Can I help? Wait, what happened here?

MARGUERITE: What happened here?! Your store swallowed up my boy! Max, are you down there?

TRAVIS: Are you kidding? What… Um--

MARGUERITE: Max! Oh, my God! It’s just darkness! What’s down there?

TRAVIS: I gotta get a flashlight--stay calm! Ah, Jeri, stay here with this woman, I’m going for Randy.

JERILYN: (perplexed, then sliding to MARGUERITE’s side) We’re here. Settle down. Who’s--

MARGUERITE: (hovering over as if vomiting into a toilet) Max!!

JERILYN: Your boy’s down there?

RANDY: (running well ahead of TRAVIS, who has to call him back to the aisle he’d only vaguely described to him) Move aside, ladies. I need to see what’s going on. (shining a flashlight on what now shows Max’s sprawled body about 15 feet below, face down, in an otherwise barren basement). Travis, call Curt and get the basement door unlocked. I’m going to try to skinny through this.

JERILYN: Head first? It’s a big drop.

MARGUERITE: O, my baby--you’ve killed him!

RANDY: No, Ma’am--stay strong. We’re going to save your boy. His name is--

JERILYN: (answering for MARGUERITE, inconsolable) He’s Max. Be careful, Randy.

RANDY: (his head and left shoulder into the hole) Max! ax! ax!

CURT: (running again ahead of TRAVIS) How in hell?

MARGUERITE: You’ve killed him!

CURT: I--uh, don’t--

JERILYN: Mr Chandler, is someone opening the basement door?

CURT: (through his teeth) I don’t know where this door would be--

MARGUERITE: What?!

CURT: We’re well away from the loading dock, and there is only a small underground area over there. I just don’t--

MARGUERITE: You don’t know your own store? Someone call the cops. An ambulance!

JERILYN: (springing up) I’m on the ambulance.

TRAVIS: Also call the fire department--right, Mr Chandler?

MARGUERITE: Yes, goddamit! Don’t hesitate!

CURT: I’m new to this facility, but we’ll get to your boy--

TRAVIS: --there’s gotta be a door from the loading docks.

CURT: I’ll run to see. Randy, can’t you squeeze in? Randy?

TRAVIS: Shit, his ribcage looks pressed in--Randy? Hey, grab his leg--

CURT: Jesus, Travis, do you know what you’re doing?

TRAVIS: Grab his leg, boss! He’s gotta get some air!

MARGUERITE: G-ge- (collapsing fully in a faint)

TRAVIS: Randy, brace yourself, and... (grabbing like a piledriver) Heave!


Iiii: at a Billings nursing home. ELMER and DESERET sit at adjacent tables full of puzzle pieces. BERENICE and LAWRENCE sit between them, not involved with either hunt but occasionally checking progress.

DESERET: You ain’t gluing your ’complishments yet, are you Elmer?

LAWRENCE: Elmer’s glue!

ELMER: That joke never gets new, Larry, and no, Deseret, I don’t have enough done to fix in place forever.

DESERET: Why you always want to fix these dang things in place forever? Did you do that in kindergarten?

ELMER: Never went to kindergarten.

BERENICE: Straight to college, him!

ELMER: I’ve always been an engineer. I could take anything apart and put it back together--

LAWRENCE: So why don’t you dismantle these puzzles when they’re done?

ELMER: Because last I looked, only me and Deseret do these puzzles, and me only the ones she did first or doesn’t wanna do. If you wanted to do one, well, you could join in with me or do one and dismantle, then give it to me. But once I’ve put it to perfection, I’d like to enjoy it like one of those paintings over there, hanging on the wall.

BERENICE: Puzzles compare to a pieces of art?

ELMER: Some more than others, just like any art.

DESERET: So, with that logic, Elmer, the 5-star chef who makes an artful entrée should shellac the plate instead of serve it.

ELMER: Chefs aren’t artists. They’ve got their craft--there’s a difference.

DESERET: I believe in the beauty of the moment: good meals, a stubborn puzzle piece that finally gets found--

LAWRENCE: an unexpected visit--

ELMER: a freezing of the time. I believe it’s beautiful to put the last piece in, polish it with the long-suffering rest, promise to keep the community whole and share that intended picture with the world. I got twenty-four grandkids and great-grandkids who all got a picture or two from these hands.

BERENICE: You could do like my grandkids do and take a photo with a phone.

ELMER: That’s not the same, not the process or the texture of the end product.

DESERET: Well, I respect that explanation, and I don’t think you’re an egotist longing for some legacy, but I rather like the mystery of how art comes and goes.

LAWRENCE: It’s not just an egotist who wants a legacy--we all do.

DESERET: Sure we do, but through a pastime like making puzzles?

BERENICE: I think it’s keeping you sharp. Had I the eyesight left, I’d do the same. But I’m pretty perceptive in other ways, and caring--that’s legacy enough for me.

ELMER: Listen, I didn’t bring up ego. I just like what I do and don’t want to see it undone. Call it nostalgia: I hold on to the things that I like.

An ambulance passes by with its distinctive siren, followed by several fire trucks with theirs.

LAWRENCE: (raising his finger like a weathervane) The Doppler effect… Means they’re not coming for us.

DESERET: So that’s comforting?

LAWRENCE: Not on the grand scheme of things, I guess you can say. Somebody out there is in trouble…

BERENICE: ‘Never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.’

ELMER: High school English class?

BERENICE: Yes, and kindergarten, too!


Iiv: Drake & Plumlee Law Firm, downtown Billings. RAY sets down the receiver on his desk phone and reverse sighs, with arms up and behind his head. Quickly, with the expiration of that sigh, he brings his hands to a schedule book on his left and collation of loose briefings on his right.

RAY: (calling to an adjoining office) Mary, could you see if Jennifer is available for a minute, and then I’ve got to respond to an ambulance call.

MARY: (off-stage) Sure. Harvey, too?

RAY: No, not necessarily. Gotta see what we’ve got. (speed-dialing on his cellphone) Hey, busy? Ok, I have just a minute. A weird call just came from Walmart about a kid who went through the floor. Hope it won’t cost me the afternoon, but possibly might. What is your own situation? Can you maybe stay an hour longer? Well, I wouldn’t want to either, but… Hold on, (acknowledging JENNIFER, coming into his office) yeah, I’ll have more in a few minutes. When does your lecture start? Ok, I’ll update before then. Bye.

JENNIFER: (noting his scramble) Should I get my jacket?

RAY: Can you get away right now? It would help a ton.

JENNIFER: Yeah, see you at the elevator.

RAY: Mary, I may not be back, but nothing else today is pressing.

MARY: Ok. This one seems more than pressing.

RAY: A bit earth-shaking, maybe. A kid fell through a hole in the floor at Walmart.

MARY: At the Heights?

RAY: Oh drat, I didn’t think to ask. I assumed at Rimrock. Can you trace back that call I just got? Then call me to confirm--I’m sure you’ll get it before I’m out of the garage.

He meets JENNIFER at the elevator and oscillates between filling her in and handling a spike of phone calls, some on his handset and others through his carphone, a la GABBY.

JENNIFER: So you’re thinking of the medical situation first--

RAY: Naturally--that’s gotta be the first thing to follow.

JENNIFER: Then the tort and structural side--

RAY: That may require one of us to stay on site, which--come on, Mary, tell me which way to drive--may need to anticipate police cordons. Anecdotals and protocols, observed and broken, need to be recorded extemporaneously, so I hope your phone is charged and recording space abundant--

JENNIFER: Always good, as that goes.

RAY: I’m never sure myself--I didn’t cut my teeth on these newfangled devices (ringing, as if on cue); yes, Mary, the Heights? Thanks a million, as ever. (to JENNIFER) Little ironic that Walmart in the Heights is sinking to a new low.

JENNIFER: Sinking or has sunk? How many instances are we talking here?

RAY: Just this one, to my knowledge. Have you heard of any other sinkholes in that store?

JENNIFER: Not to sound snooty, but I don’t go to such stores.

RAY: China sweatshops?

JENNIFER: That’s a vast abbreviation, but sure. More to local consciousness, I hate their health insurance shenanigans--

RAY: You’ll interview with objectivity, I trust?

JENNIFER: You trust or you don’t trust?

RAY: You haven’t been that long on our team, Ms Barton.

JENNIFER: (drawing out the insinuation, and deciding to play with it) Yeah, I’m a new legal aide Harvey hired and you affirmed… and a policy on Walmart’s policy hasn’t yet come up… yet… and I’m supposed to…

RAY: Touché. Incidentally, I would have hired you faster than Harvey, probably.

JENNIFER: Based on my good looks, of course.

RAY: Let’s not cross too many lines on an ambulance chase, shall we? And (seeing who’s calling on his screen) case in point. (answering) Hi Susan, just driving to Walmart north, as it turns out. Yeah, I thought it was Rimrock at first, but… So, I’m here with Jennifer who’ll probably split the reception--I just don’t know yet if I go to St Vincent, or the Clinic, or stay at site… You’re saying it would be easier to stay at site?... Or more interesting for you? Well, I’m not sure how to filter that hypothetically, I mean… yes, a sudden hole through the proverbial bedrock. Probably not in itself justifying a field trip… No, I didn’t mean to sound condescending--the opposite, really… I think--remains to be seen--a kid falling through a hole in the floor could be a compelling study for your field as well as architecture and surveying… Wait, I got another call coming in-- give this an hour, at least, I’ll try my best to get us home on schedule. (blowing out before taking the next)

JENNIFER: Want me to drive?

RAY: You’re kind, but that would require a Chinese fire drill--sort of against your worldview...

JENNIFER: I got a multivalent worldview.

RAY: (answering his handset) Yeah, hi Harv. Mary told you that… ok… Well, depends. I got this from a Walmart employee and, y’know, reliability there is hit-and-miss. On the other hand… yes,... I agree. This one screams our attention. I could have waited for the mother to be able to express herself, but frankly, I’m not sure she’s gonna be our wellspring…. No, of course she’s a primary between Jennifer and myself, but what I’m saying is… right,... that’s what I’m saying: we might have bigger fish to fry from this employee to the very top of the food chain, so to speak…. I don’t know, if you got time, maybe come down as well--or up, as it happens to be in the Heights. We’ll have police and probably media on the scene, and that will stretch Jen and I too thin…. Yeah,... I agree… so, maybe see you… Bye.

JENNIFER: ‘Jen and me’, grammatically.

RAY: That means you’ll be stretched before me?

JENNIFER: I agree with what I think I’ve eavesdropped, that we’ll have to handle the victims first, then the nature of the tort, then media.

RAY: You forgot police.

JENNIFER: I don’t see them as the story.

RAY: We’re not journalists--the story is immaterial.

JENNIFER: On the unlikely prospect the cops don’t do their job--and before them, we gotta see that Walmart hasn’t done their job--I can’t see why we’d pay much attention to their presence.

RAY: So why the media, then? They’re even more remote.

JENNIFER: Well, unless this is a test, you should be able to tell me that, and the rationale you and Harvey agreed upon that the media mattered.

RAY: Ok, let’s call this a test. Go:

JENNIFER: In less than a half-mile... Ok: media will exploit this as a weirdo story that serves two big purposes: something in Billings happened--go figure!--potentially as much a headline story than any boring thing in D.C.; then, because it’s the kind of human interest story that could wrap up the half-hour, the makings of a class action suit would strike the imagination.

RAY: Which one’s bigger?

JENNIFER: For us? the latter. One hole in Walmart is the invitation for a proverbial ‘hero of Haarlem’--we being that little Dutch boy--and the rest, in the inevitable crumbling of Walmart, is history.

RAY: I hear too much bias again.

JENNIFER: (considering for a few moments) So, let me out at the next traffic light.

RAY: What?

JENNIFER: I answered your test and, to my mind, passed. If not in your mind, I’ll quit and find another job.

RAY: You’re joking?

JENNIFER: No. I won’t play powerball, whether working for Walmart or Drake & Plumlee.

RAY: (driving through a long yellow light) You’re not making an equivalency there!

JENNIFER: Not unless you are first. I’m the assistant you--or Harvey--hired for this kind of run, and if you feel I’m not ‘the guy’ for it, then…

RAY: (fumbling with an incoming call) Wait, um… Hello? Yes,.. this is… Ok, that’s rather.. No, I’m not in a position to alter my present course. But I think you’ll get… yes, I know it’s urgent… that’s why I think you’ll get--oh, yikes!.. sorry, I’m driving--can I hand this to my assistant, Jennifer Barton, who will… (giving the phone to JENNIFER) Please, say ‘call Harvey’ and give his number…

JENNIFER: Hello? This is Jennifer Barton. Yes… yes… I understand from what I was able to overhear. I’m instructed to have you call Harvey Drake at… ok, you know how to contact him. You’ll keep in contact here, too. Well, as long as you understand we’re responding to an equally urgent call, and… Yes… So, call Harvey, yes. Good… Good luck. (handing back the phone) So there’s your class action: a sinkhole at Mystic Park.

RAY: Gobbled up a biker?

JENNIFER: only his bike, it seems.

RAY: Emotions run amok.

JENNIFER: For bikers or lawyers?

RAY: If Billings is sinking in several places, (parking the car in front of Walmart) I don’t think it will matter whose shit’s more or less together.

JENNIFER: That’s rather crude.

RAY: Pardon. I’m rather frayed today… (watching almost impassively as the idling ambulance with closed doors instantly speeds away and another ambulance, seemingly on cue, comes screeching to the very vacancy) Or, suddenly, afraid.


IIi: at the nursing home. The television in the activities room is on after dinner. DESERET and ELMER resort to their ongoing puzzles, BERENICE and LAWRENCE add color commentary. Other residents and aides move around, some paying attention to the television screen, others not. LAWRENCE asks that it be turned off, but an aide shakes his head in an indication that the majority wishes the news to go on.

LAWRENCE: (throwing up his arms) For Pete’s sakes, we’ve been through Dr Oz and Dr Phil--what further prognostication should us old folks get?

BERENICE: I didn’t think you were paying attention!

LAWRENCE: To inanity, no. But to the fact that we’re bombarded with this boob-tube from 4pm to nightfall, well…, I wouldn’t have allowed that in my house.

DESERET: So now we’re in our house. I also had a pretty strict code: we all come to the dinner table together, no exceptions.

BERENICE: My grandkids struggle with the same: football practice and whatever else sometimes pushes family time aside, and so they ask me ‘how was it with you, Grandma?’

ELMER: And how was it with you?

BERENICE: Well, not so idyllic, but also pretty good. My Bernie, bless his soul, and I did what we could to keep the dinner hour together.

LAWRENCE: I’d never have the tv on during dinner. It’s disgraceful.

ELMER: Well, it’s an hour after dinner. (searching among the puzzle pieces) And you got to admit we’re all enthralled with what Bob Schieffer has to say..

DESERET: That’s Scott Pelley, if you haven’t noticed….

ELMER: Scott… who? Well, same difference. Anyway, it’s the same old stuff ’bout Mexicans and Russians and voter fraud. They could play yesterday’s program tomorrow and no one would notice.

BERENICE: Well, that’s kinda cynical. Would you say the local news just goes on about meth abuse or, or fracking policies day after day?

ELMER: Sure. And we should tune in once in awhile. They also track my younger grandkids’ football games, so that’s a plus.

SCOTT PELLEY: ‘And finally tonight, a live report from Billings, Montana, on an unusual occurrence this afternoon involving’

DESERET: Hey, look!

SCOTT PELLEY: ‘at a Walmart. Our affiliate KTVQ’s Elizabeth Heron has the details. Elizabeth?’

ELIZABETH: ‘Good evening, Scott, I’m at the site of Walmart in Billings Heights, and as you can see, there is a hole in the floor that opened up apparently when a 5-year-old boy jumped down hard on the spot. He went through the hole to a basement area where he was knocked unconscious but is now recovering at St Vincent’s hospital in stable condition. However, a security guard who tried to reach him from this area suffered asphyxia and is in serious condition at the same hospital. We have with us a store manager, Curt Chandler, who witnessed the dramatic situation--’

CURT: ‘I didn’t, as such, witness the way the hole was made. And I want to be clear, we are conducting an internal protocol toward what happened here and it looks to be completely isolated, not--’

ELIZABETH: ‘Such an immediate crumbling of the store’s foundation, and just the weight of a child--this must be a concern for you and your customers.’

CURT: ‘Um, again, we are looking over everything--we’ve closed this section of the store--’

ELIZABETH: ‘Are we safe where we’re standing at the moment?’

CURT: ‘We’re safe, yes, to be sure. We have great people on the job and,... pardon, if I may--we just want to give a shout-out to Randy: get well, buddy--’

ELIZABETH: ‘The security guard in ICU.’

CURT: ‘First responder, always looking out for trouble, or… uh, the safety of our customers.’

ELIZABETH: ‘Thank you, Curt, we share in wishing him, and the boy, a full recovery. For now, Scott, city inspectors are expected to do an infrastructural survey of the building to determine why this happened. And that’s all we have at this time.’

SCOTT PELLEY: ‘To clarify: part of the store is still open. Wouldn’t they do a precautionary clear-out immediately?’

ELIZABETH: ‘That’s a good question--let me see if Mr Chandler is still available. Whoops, nope, I guess he slipped away. Busy here, as you can imagine.’

SCOTT PELLEY: ‘We can. Thank you, Elizabeth Heron at KTVQ. And that is the CBS Evening News for tonight. I’m Scott Pelley, for the news team, and we’ll see you tomorrow.’

DESERET: Well, I’ll be! Now that you won’t find in another day’s news, Elmer.

ELMER: You got me there.

BERENICE: We’ll hear plenty from the local news coming up--

ELMER: We just heard it. She said, ‘that’s all we got at this time.’

DESERET: Maybe another station has another slant. Lawrence, turn it to channel 4, see what they’ve gotta say.

BERENICE: I wonder about the asphyxiation thing. That’s dreadful.

DESERET: Yes, that could have been reported better. Was the basement air so bad, or--

BERENICE: I remember hearing about those explorers who opened up the pharaoh’s tomb and died from the toxins in the air.

ELMER: Tutankhamen and Howard Carter’s crew. I read a book that basically dispelled the myth that the bacteria inside did anybody in. Maybe another aspect of the ‘curse’ played some mischief, but it wasn’t the bad air.

BERENICE: Interesting how myths are made.

ELMER: --and sustained.

LAWRENCE: So, you sure you want FOX on this story?

DESERET: Why not? It’s not about politics, but they do tend to put more bite into coverage.

LAWRENCE: So they do. (switching channels)

TRAVIS: ‘Yeah, I was shocked at what I saw. I mean, only a minute before, he and his mom were in the aisle where I was working, and everyone chatting and all was good. Then they went to a the toy section here and mother returned for some spaghetti sauce she forgot and then back here and--boom! I heard the jars hit before she started screaming, “Max, Max!”--’

KEITH: ‘That’s the boy’s name? You can confirm--’

TRAVIS: ‘Well, that’s not for me to say. I mean, privacy and all. But anyways, she come kneeling down to this hole, and it took awhile for us to see Ma--the boy--until Randy’

KEITH: ‘the security guard?’

TRAVIS: ‘the security guard, brought a flashlight. And he sees the boy’s not moving and does the heroic thing to try to get himself through the same hole. And you can see, it aint that big--well, the size of a kid, basically.’

KEITH: ‘Why didn’t anybody go through the basement door?’

TRAVIS: ‘We suggested that, and Mr Chandler, our manager, eventually got to the boy that way, but it’s all easier said than done cuz this is a basement don’t nobody use, nobody knew of, actually--not even Mr Chandler.’

KEITH: ‘--Didn’t know a basement in his own store?’

TRAVIS: ‘No, I don’t mean he didn’t know like he’s irresponsible--heck, I’ve worked here twice as long and I didn’t know we had empty space here below, like a sealed-off cave or something. There is a basement near the loading dock, that we know about and use, but it’s just a fraction of the floor plan of this place--I mean, it’s a frickin’ huge place!’

KEITH: ‘That it is. And what’s next for Walmart in the Heights?’

TRAVIS: ‘What’s next? Um, no more drama for a day or two, that’s what I can hope!’

DESERET: Ok, I’ve heard enough. You can turn it back, Lawrence, or off.

ELMER: Got the drift? On to the next puzzle in the town?

DESERET: On to finishing this puzzle and, yes, I’ll crumble it up for you to do later.

BERENICE: I wonder what he meant by ‘what’s next for Walmart’?

LAWRENCE: I’d be asking, ‘what’s next for the little boy’...

BERENICE: And his mother, who’ll have to relive this nightmare again and again--

ELMER: As long as we channel the story, which if we minded our own business could be short-lived.

DESERET: Or locked-in. I was expecting Scott Pelley to call it a ‘human-interest story’ like they do sometimes at that end of the news.

BERENICE: It is interesting.

DESERET: But I’m glad he didn’t. It’s also devastating--a bit voyeuristic, especially if it starts to pigeonhole Max and his mom.

LAWRENCE: Then why did you ask me to get more coverage?

DESERET: Maybe I’m part of the problem--picking through the pieces to put them together, then scrambling them up again. Luckily for them, they’re only cardboard.

LAWRENCE: And sometimes glue.

ELMER: Not listening, Larry.


IIii: Benteen, the next morning. The Plumlee family gets into the car like the day before, CAM being first of the twins this time. TAMMY summons their dog PENNIES from the front yard and pats his slow-moving body into the house. RAY checks his phone for messages and, seeing that he’ll need to respond to several, holds up the keys for SUSAN as a way of bidding her to drive. She raises her eyebrows a bit sleepily, but takes the keys and goes around to the driver’s seat that RAY has vacated. Instinctively, as he gets into the passenger side, he turns on the radio while SUSAN backs out of the garage.

‘We sing it loud and strong, loud and strong
That song hurts--that song hurts,
I wonder what went wrong with that song
Far away…’

SUSAN: As driver, then, shouldn’t I be the controller of the radio waves?

TAMMY: Exactly--set Dad straight for once. I’m tired of this show.

RAY: Suit yourself. But I think ‘Gift of Gab’ will have something interesting to say--

SUSAN: --as evidence for your future court appearance?

RAY: It can’t hurt. Man on the street counts a little.

CAM: Woman on the street. Or highway, as she likes to be contextualized.

SUSAN: Hmm, good word. English quiz today?

CAM: We only study dead white males, and their context is self-importantly silly.

RAY: So, all the more reason to tune into Gab…

SUSAN: She’s silly, too.

RAY: I don’t think so.

SUSAN: Talk radio? Endless echoes of ‘ditto, what he said’--

CAM: she.

SUSAN: same difference.

TAMMY: Wait, did she just mention the Walmart hole?

RAY: See? Relevance astounds us…

GABBY: ‘And it is something we can and should get our minds around: safety in the public sphere is bound to be challenged by quantities known and unknown. And here’s a f’r instance: that grizzly mauling last summer around Flathead had a ton of speculation, like: why did it attack a police officer, and why was he on a mountain bike, and how many grizzlies come out of the wild, and... lo and behold there’s an epidemic on our hands!’

SUSAN: She’s not being relevant.

RAY: Patience, patience.

GABBY: ‘as these things go. I’m not a fan of Walmart--just for the record--’

RAY: Sounds like Jennifer.

SUSAN: Who?

RAY: You know, the legal aide we hired--she’s on this case with me.

GABBY: ‘people walk a lot of aisles for a lot of reasons, regardless if you or I would walk them, too. So Walmart has its aisles, and this church its and that library its--we’re talking ‘aisles’ with an ‘a’, by the way--like roadways that connect--instead of little islands that may be remote.’

RAY: Interesting--

TAMMY: I wish she’d just get on with what she thinks happened.

SUSAN: She doesn’t know what happened--nobody does.

CAM: Dad, you must have a clue.

RAY: I have. On the legal side of things. But I’m interested in the physical phenomenon, and that’s gotta be your mother’s expertise.

SUSAN: (sardonically) Oh, do you think I should call in to Gabby?

RAY: Why not? She’d love to factor in a geologist’s point of view.

SUSAN: So far, the ‘geology’ is strictly Walmart’s faulty foundation, and I--like Jennifer, apparently--don’t darken that world of Walmart enough to vouch for its ticky-tack bedrock.

RAY: So, say that on ‘Gift of Gab’.

SUSAN: Well, I don’t feel a need to share such opinions to the itinerant masses.

RAY: You’ve lectured to thousands who’ve come and gone on to better realities because of your expertise.

SUSAN: Yes: I research more than react.

CAM: And Daddy does the opposite!

RAY: Hey, there’s a lot more to an ambulance chaser than meets the eye.

TAMMY: Be quiet, guys, I wanna know about this kid.

GABBY: ‘and all that other weirdness aside, the issue that should floor us--pun or no pun intended, take your pick--is the notion that we’re walking prescribed paths with utter trust about how they’ve been paved, literally in this case, and whether (not necessarily how often) they’ve been maintained. Think elevators and every so often inside them you’ve glanced above the buttons to the little framed license, stamped to show how up-to-date it is: our relation to gravity compels such verification that the cables for this box will not snap and plummet us to oblivion.’

SUSAN: She’s being over-the-top. Insensitive, even.

RAY: Call her out.

SUSAN: You’ve got the crush and the legal provision to use your phone right now: you call her out.

RAY: On what? So far, I agree.

TAMMY: She hasn’t said anything about the kid.

RAY: That is not without merit, Tam. The networks were horrible last night in their efforts to interview the mother, the nursing staff, everybody around the boy.

CAM: Including you?

RAY: I didn’t get there, either--need to check with Jennifer if she succeeded--but then again I offer a service: compensation the family will absolutely need.

SUSAN: Superman. Co-starring Jennifer as Supergirl.

RAY: No need to be jealous, she’s actually a bit of a crank.

TAMMY: So how will you handle the situation with the boy differently than the reporters, Dad?

RAY: That’s a fine question. I so rarely deal with minors, and in cases like guardianship, there’s always a social worker involved. I don’t know enough about this family to predict how the state would provide counsel or support for their case. I do know Walmart will bring their legal army, though.

SUSAN: Should you be talking all this shop?

RAY: Probably not. But I have confidence that what’s said in this car stays in this car, yes?

CAM: Not unless I call the ‘Gift of Gab’, and... (lifting her phone to her ear) it’s ringing!

GABBY: ‘and while I can certainly gab on for the next twenty miles, I feel a need to hear from one o’ ya’s--and like always, I don’t screen these calls in advance and I only have my thumb to tap you on or off, so go easy. At the same time, let’s talk public safety and the aisles we take for granted. Caller numero uno, happy highways to you--’

CAM: Hello! Am I on?

            GABBY: ‘You’re on, sweetie, and if you can turn down your radio, that would be dandy.’

CAM: O, ok--Dad, turn down the radio please. Um, I’m Cam--
           
            GABBY: ‘How old are you, Cammy? And you said your dad’s there to let you on air?’

CAM: Yes, I’m 16--almost a driver! And my dad tolerates that fact. And he’s smiling a little uncertainly.

            GABBY: ‘Fair enough. Hi Dad! So, whatcha got to say, Cammy?’

CAM: Well, that analogy with the grizzly bear was interesting, but don’t you think a big difference is that she had it in mind to protect her cubs or whatever, and this hole in Walmart didn’t have such a mind. Like, yesterday was a mindless event, wouldn’t you say? And the bear was, well, more intentional.

GABBY: ‘That’s thoughtful, Cammy. I suppose there is mind in every matter whenever creatures are involved--human or otherwise. And, to the spirit of your question, the concrete floor isn’t a creature with an agenda, whether to swallow something up or bite someone away. But a big difference is that we got people responsible for that floor. It’s like the tooth of the bear didn’t care what it was doing--the tooth is just the hardened surface by which the damage is done. Does that make sense?’

CAM: Sure, I just wonder if the holes loom larger.

GABBY: ‘Or ‘hole’ in the singular--all we got is this one, even if it’s so unusual it makes the national news. My purpose with the bear mauling was to underscore its rarity. Most of us older Montanans know the classic Jack Olsen book, “Night of the Grizzlies”, in which two victims were killed miles apart on the same night some fifty years ago, like a one-in-a-zillion chance. No epidemic, in other words. And here we just have the one freak accident at Walmart. But what we should be thinking about is why we have to keep things up to code. That’s my take-away, at least. Thanks for calling in, Cammy. We’ll take another--’
           
SUSAN: (pistoling her right finger toward the back seat) Not to make a habit out of that!

RAY: Next time, give a pseudonym, yeah? I don’t want any conflict-of-interest. But good on ya to challenge the Gab’s definitions.

TAMMY: Do you think she answered it well?

RAY: She tuned into the major news story alright, but apparently hasn’t heard about the sinkhole at Mystic Park, which would be negligible any other day.

SUSAN: That’s an oxymoron--‘sinkhole’ and ‘negligible’.

RAY: I said ‘would be’--it’s a glorified pothole on a bike path, and granted, nobody got hurt. But its timing is uncanny and might get the city talking beyond the Walmart building code.

CAM: Why don’t you call Gabby on that?

RAY: I’ll let the case unfold as it will. Besides, I charge by the hour for my expert point of view.

SUSAN: Then yesterday you must have raked in the dough. Enough to buy a spare car, I’d say.

RAY: Hey, I wasn’t a hundred percent on giving up the Mazda to Sheridan! Anyway, we don’t have a client as yet, but, you know, the art of hanging around tends to do the trick.

SUSAN: That sounds like a fitting work detail for Jennifer, then. Tonight I want to be home by 5.

TAMMY: Volleyball game at 7, we gotta be there at 6.

SUSAN: Who against?

TAMMY: Dawson, we’re suited in black this time.

SUSAN: In bereavement?

CAM: Hey, we’re on a roll--crushed Laurel last week--Dad, you can attest.

RAY: (looking at his phone) I might be delayed this time--

SUSAN: What?

RAY: The Walmart guard didn’t make it out of ICU. This case just got a lot more complicated.

SUSAN: Then you’re walking home.

TAMMY: Then bereavement’s for real.


IIiii: MSU lecture hall. As students come in and congregate at three or four areas of the bevelled seating, SUSAN assembles her notes at the rostrum and checks that the hookups to her laptop presentation will go in good order. She’s distracted from such preparation by her daughter SHERIDAN’s sudden entrance from the auditorium wing. Students continue to chat as they see their professor is occupied. Order is called, so to speak, with beeps and an announcement that comes from the intercom:

INTERCOM: ‘Excuse the interruption, please. Campus Security occasionally monitors what needs to be noted beyond the campus parameters, and, in coordination with the office of the mayor of Billings, we must advise a “stay clear” of Josephine Park and the riverfront generally, in light of the closure of the Mystic section and other areas under inspection. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.’

SUSAN: (ah-hemming a few times) Well, uh, as we, please, can find our seats… thanks, yes…, I realize… and, well,... ok. Can we start? Yes.

BARNEY: (holding up his hand and finally being recognized) Professor Plumlee, I think that announcement must concern our studies of geology.

SUSAN: (with a pursed smile) I could ask you, Barney, about your use of ‘must’, but I’d rather attend to your further phrasing and our purpose here, to deepen our ‘studies of geology’...

BARNEY: Sure, all respect, Professor, I’m prepped for today’s lecture, but it seems that some commentary about these multiplying sinkholes--

SUSAN: According to--what is your source?

BARNEY: Well, according to what’s instant messaging. I mean, we really didn’t need to the dean’s announcement, or whoever’s speaking over the intercom…

INEZ: We’re well aware, Dr Plumlee, that there is concern beyond that Mystic Park cave-in.

SUSAN: We’re not sure what it is, but ‘sinkhole’ should be closer to a working definition than ‘cave-in’, especially as there hasn’t been any study of the raw report...

INEZ: I know we’re supposed to be focused on compound levels of shale today--

SUSAN: --definitions of shale, first-off--

INEZ: but I wonder if we might address the ‘raw reports’, as you say, to help us understand what’s buzzing about?

SUSAN: Thank you, Inez, and if everyone can find a seat, thanks,... perhaps we can get some perspective from my surprise guest Sheridan, suddenly home from the Bozeman campus, studying journalism, last I was aware...

SHERIDAN: Sheesh, Mom, way to expound an awkwardness--

SUSAN: Hey, you crashed in on your own accord, no less to a madding crowd which still hasn’t settled in…

SHERIDAN: (faux-clinging to SUSAN, then taking her gestured invite to address her seventy-or-so peers) I must say, having, as my mother describes, crashed in on my own accord, it is a unique opportunity for us Bobcats and Yellowjackets to take pulse of the news of the day--

BARNEY: You came across the state for this?

SHERIDAN: Well, I’m kind of representing the School of Journalism,.. unofficial--

SUSAN: To be sure, we are here to study shale, sticking to the syllabus--

SHERIDAN: And I came in today to study what you all are studying, not to compromise your time--

INEZ: You’re not wasting anybody’s time. In fact, I think we’d all be interested in how a couple incidents that go viral impact media broadcasters and (eyeballing SUSAN) experts in the field… From a journalist’s perspective, who do you think controls the story?

SHERIDAN: There are a number of stories. Journalism itself can become a story, especially with such instant exchange of information.

INEZ: But then we get a blur of the non-contextual with the need for objective context, right? 

SHERIDAN: That’s a big question, and so.... if I may use my ‘lifeline’… Mom?

SUSAN: Not so fast: I’m paying a helluva lot of your tuition to see what you can say: you’ve launched your credentials; now tell us what we should be probing further…

SHERIDAN: W...e..ll, let’s see. I came to see if that Walmart story had anything to do with Mystic Park. Meanwhile, I understand the situation has extended to, as you just heard, the riverfront paths, and there’s talk at City Hall of some evacuation plan--

BARNEY: Where have you heard that?

SHERIDAN: Talk radio, my only source so far--

SUSAN: I don’t suggest you to be a spokesperson of any source, Sher--

SHERIDAN: I know the problem here, Mom, is more than how we source things. We’re presently studying this issue specifically: some of my TA’s are tracking ‘echo chamber’ effects of what defines itself as journalistic bedrock and tabloid ‘bedtime tucks’, as one of my professors described it--

INEZ: ‘bedtime tucks’?

SHERIDAN: Yeah, the way we try to go to sleep, often unsuccessfully. We check our internet media--mostly social bubbles, occasioned with news feeds--and try to be on top of things, especially to ‘go to sleep’ and wake up that much wiser.

SUSAN: Bozeman’s teaching that?

SHERIDAN: To some degree you taught me that, Momma, and Bozeman respects what we’ve been taught--

BARNEY: Ok, so, Bozeman notwithstanding, you probe these ‘bedtime tucks’--

SHERIDAN: Well so far, I’m too low in the totem pole to probe--

INEZ: C’mon, don’t sell out when the spotlight’s on…

SHERIDAN: ...truth be told, I wouldn’t be in town unless I had a place to stay and,.. might I say, my Mom’s sanction. (SUSAN wags her head) I can see there’s a story here that none of us can frame, from my mother’s preparation on shale formations to whatever any of us heard--or synchronically hear--as messages pour in. Out of courtesy I won’t ask you to put your handsets down, but… I wonder if we have any way to make these few minutes worthwhile.

BARNEY: What do you mean ‘worthwhile’? Bozeman can’t sell Billings short…

SHERIDAN: Of course not, especially since the situation is here on your turf. For the record, Bozeman’s closer to the volcanic mindfuck--sorry, Mom--that is the Yellowstone Volcanic bulge…

SUSAN: Thank you, Sheridan, for vulgarizing that phenomenon. (turning in her seat) Since few of you are taking notes, let’s put the handsets away and start today’s consideration on what my daughter adumbrates as the Yellowstone volcanic pressure system that, as you should already know, constitutes the largest known caldera in the world, if variously defined as dormant, active, transitional, ‘surface-seeking’, biding time--

BARNEY: You make the lava seem to have a mind of its own--

INEZ: --or the earth itself, the substrate around here: there’s nothing as yet in the Mystic Park account that suggests the role of lava…

SUSAN: Indeed, we’re too far northeast of the Yellowstone Caldera,.. officially--

BARNEY: then why’d you bring it up?

INEZ: (elbowing him) Dummy--we’re close enough to understand the gigantic threat of what lurks beneath Yellowstone--

SHERIDAN: --and you mean the national park more than the river, right?

INEZ: Hmm. I’m not sure what I mean…. The river only skims the surface, right? And what we’re considering here is a ‘what-makes-up-most-the-iceberg’ type of thing…

SUSAN: For the record, we’ll get to glacial effects on geology in a couple weeks--

BARNEY: Do we have the liberty to wait so long? It seems, by said abbreviations (or ‘adumbrations’, I think you said) that the caldera we’ve all fondly visited like the rest of the world’s tourists may eventually do us in, whether at Walmart or,...

INEZ: Don’t be melodramatic, Barn. I’m not buying into some agenda of a mindless mass of hot-and-cool lignite--

BARNEY: Are you referring to people or the earth?

INEZ: Both--whatever people put into their lava lamps…

SHERIDAN: Well, now, let’s not disparage--

INEZ: Why not? You’ve come in on your mother’s pass, ostensibly to explain how the news of the day takes shape. And some of that, you just said, is tabloid, the blobs of stuff that entrances us or makes us drowsy in the glow.

SHERIDAN: Ok--analogy accepted. Emphasizing ‘some of that’...

SUSAN: And (standing up to tag-out her daughter, who simultaneously sits down) the rest is in the shale, shall we say. The collapse at Walmart distinguishes itself from the sinkholes along the river insofar as the former points to structural fatigue, which is a fascinating cross-discipline for those who may want to consider a 400-level course: how geology meets architecture and vice versa. For now, we turn to definitions of shale…


IIiv: St Vincent hospital. JENNIFER and RAY are huddled in a corner of busy visitor area outside the ICU. Among others in the lobby are correspondents ELIZABETH HERON and KEITH BABCOCK from their respective networks, interviewing relatives or friends of whatever family they can lasso. MARGUERITE enters from an internal corridor and, seeing the throng, tries to double back. JENNIFER manages to catch her hand.

JENNIFER: Others will say ‘we cannot imagine your grief’, Ms--uh--Marguerite--

MARGUERITE: (recoiling) Huh? Don’t pretend that you know me!

JENNIFER: --but honestly we can imagine your grief, having sat with--

MARGUERITE: (without moving) Why are you holding my hand? And using my first name without my last, which...

RAY: (approaching) --doesn’t mean we factor just one side of you.

MARGUERITE: (withdrawing her hand from JENNIFER’s) Factor? Are you seriously gonna use that on me, now?

JENNIFER: Not like a math problem, but we take all things into consideration for an optimal outcome.

MARGUERITE: You’re lawyers, then? The guys that left a note at the nurses’ station?

RAY: Yes! Glad our calling card made its impression--we’re Drake and Plumlee, notably the best legal representation in eastern Montana--

MARGUERITE: (to JENNIFER, allowing her hand back into hers) Are you Drake?

JENNIFER: Aspiring to be, perhaps, but no, I’m Jennifer Barton--

RAY: (extending his hand) I’m Ray Plumlee, co-founder of the firm. We will be happy to work through your grievances at no cost to you whatsoever. We were the first on the scene to take in all the details and--

JENNIFER: --what we really want to know is: how is Max? We spoke yesterday with Travis and Jerilyn who also are asking. A doctor’s report is one thing, but what’s your point of view? How is your little boy?

MARGUERITE: (whispering) I don’t want anyone asking how he is, understand?

JENNIFER: (whispering in kind) No doubt--he shouldn’t experience any rigamarole--

RAY: Part of what we can provide is protection from precisely that--

MARGUERITE: rigamarole?

JENNIFER: One way or another, there’s going to be bureaucracy and a lot of unwanted attention. What term would you use for that?

MARGUERITE: A clusterfuck. From Walmart to other peddlers, landing on liens.

RAY: That’s well said--lyrical, really: I set up this firm with Harvey Drake exactly to hear about such ‘liens’ that land on folks unjustly, especially when they have to trust in Main Street--

MARGUERITE: --you mean Wall Street.

JENNIFER:  That, too--the crossbreed being Walmart, where this story meets. But you shouldn’t have to front such a case, Marguerite, especially as Max would be in the mix--

RAY: --so to speak. You wouldn’t have to do anything--on the contrary, we’d represent your legal interests so that you can convalesce with Max. Your case would result in a positive settlement for you and, potentially, could help countless others who would otherwise fall into the same situation--

MARGUERITE: Fall? like through another hole?

RAY: Or any other mishap a corporation should foremost prevent.

MARGUERITE: I don’t care about ‘would’ or ‘should’ or anything like that. I got a boy who’s conscious enough to know he’s survived this nightmare and he’ll eventually know his potential rescuer named… Randy?

RAY: Yes, ma’am.

MARGUERITE: didn’t. I got a boy who’s able to rebound, just like his daddy back and forth in Afghanistan, where nothing is worth fighting for and everything screams ‘our mission here’s not done’. Maybe you should wait ’til he returns from duty, because I sure don’t have the patience to battle through the courts.

RAY: (coughing into his hand) We’re here, Marguerite, in a peaceful Billings where troubles are relatively small--thanks to those in service who protect our way of life. (coughing again) At the same time, we need to uphold our rights through the law. It won’t be a battle, but it will take your willingness to press charges and testify.

JENNIFER: Does Max speak about his dad?

MARGUERITE: (hesitating, if still holding JENNIFER’s hand) Sometimes. It’s tough, you know.

JENNIFER: I’m sure we can help on this front, too--you see, this is what ‘representation’ means in the most holistic sense.

RAY: Like even now, when media raptors appear--

KEITH: (approaching with an outstretched right hand and a globed microphone in his left) Hello Ma’am, Keith Babcock of FOX news. We’d appreciate your point-of-view, especially, as--

JENNIFER: Do you mind? We’re not done with our meeting--

KEITH: Are you an attorney for the family?

JENNIFER: It’s none of your business.

KEITH: I don’t believe I’ve met you--

RAY: (to Marguerite, softly) Would you like us to do anything for you--now, with this reporter, later?

MARGUERITE: I’d actually like to speak with the other one--I recognize her from television.

RAY: Are you sure? Because you don’t have to take any questions or relay any information--it might just be better to give this some extra time.

MARGUERITE: I like the way she’s waiting--maybe you can set up a more private interview?

RAY: (stealing a glance at JENNIFER, who’s holding KEITH at bay) Um, of course I can ask on your behalf… Again, no need to rush any media statement.

MARGUERITE: I’m fine, really.

RAY: Ok. (softly to JENNIFER) Keep being barrier--I’m honoring her preference.

JENNIFER: (nodding, then cutting off KEITH, who tries to seize the moment) Hold on, you don’t have the prerogative--

KEITH: I was here first, that’s how it works--seems the same for you, right?

JENNIFER: Again, it’s none of your business.

KEITH: My business? Journalism is a champion to the first amendment of the Constitution. Your gagging of that is un-American.

MARGUERITE: (speaking behind JENNIFER) You guys at FOX love talking about America. You know what’s un-American? Australia. Like literally.

KEITH: Excuse me?

JENNIFER: (turning toward MARGUERITE while keeping a hand up at KEITH’s chest) You don’t need to react to him--

MARGUERITE: Australia. Murdock’s country. You’re all his employees--or kangaroos, the way you hop to your talking points--first amendment phooey!

KEITH: I’m curious, then, if you feel the same about other corporations?

JENNIFER: You don’t have to answer anything, Marg--

MARGUERITE: You mean like Walmart--Sam Walton’s pockets? Sure, I shop there ’cause I can’t afford otherwise, but damn right I’m concerned about who colors our culture. You guys at FOX have done--

JENNIFER: --that’s quite enough. (calling across the room) Ray? We’re due for a tag-out, yeah?

KEITH: No! I think the lady has her own right to speak--please continue.

MARGUERITE: I won’t go down your rabbit hole. There--said what I wanted to. Now where’s that other lady?

RAY: (pacing quickly) That other lady--Elizabeth--will be happy to sit with you--

KEITH: --so CBS pulls your string!…

RAY: (ignoring him) --but she had to take another call--

KEITH: Ah! Priorities, priorities…

RAY: --that has your full interest in mind.

MARGUERITE: I’m going to go back to Max right now.

JENNIFER: I think that’s a very good idea.

MARGUERITE: And I think I’ll call you a little later on.

KEITH: (stretching over his contact card, which MARGUERITE reluctantly takes) And this is your voucher for dinner on me--us Aussies know how to barbeque! I truly am interested in what’s on your mind, beyond all this buzz.

RAY: (ensuring that MARGUERITE and KEITH exit opposite ways) We’ll tally that a victory, Jen, if pyrrhic.

JENNIFER: What’ya mean? Why did Elizabeth run off when the moment was ripe?

RAY: Because of another sinkhole at Mystic Park.

JENNIFER: Another bike lost?

RAY: (considering how to say) Another… Randy, it seems. We could be in over our head.


IIIi: Mystic Park. ELIZABETH HERON readies her crew to interview SUSAN, who has ventured over from the Montana State campus with some of her students and SHERIDAN. Police at regular intervals nudge them and other onlookers farther from the cordon established by the park ranger. A religious group demonstrates nearby with placards that warn ‘the END is NEAR’, laughed at by some and listened to by others. Helicopters pass along the riverway.

INEZ: Are you taking everything in?

SHERIDAN: I’m live-streaming as we speak. Wanna greet the fan base?

INEZ: Whoever they may be?

SHERIDAN: Bozeman buds, mostly, but reaching a thousand shares already--

BARNEY: (karaoking) ‘Hey-oh, listen what I say-oh’…

INEZ: (laughing) No, don’t, really--

SUSAN: (calling over from twenty feet) A little dignity, how ’bout? We’re about to go on air for real--

ELIZABETH: --a couple minutes, actually--

SUSAN: Don’t tell them that.

SHERIDAN: What do you mean ‘for real’?

BARNEY: Looks like CBS is pretty for real.

INEZ: Hey! You can meta-broadcast if you record their interview.

SHERIDAN: Could, but I’m as interested in these crusaders over here and any others roaming around, tempting fate… I’ll catch the CBS edit later on. (walking over to one of the placard-holders) So, if I may ask, sir, as we’re live-streaming for--or sorta from--Bozeman, what makes this event the all-capped ‘END’ for folks of your persuasion?

GARY: Have you any handle of your spiritual fate, Miss?

SHERIDAN: Um, more or less; I’m actually, though, reporting your take on that question, among others…

GARY: Spiritual fate is not a question.

SHERIDAN: Your group is called?

GARY: We’re the Church of Rapture, located--

BARNEY: Well, that’s rich! I think we’d all like to sanctify our most rapturous moments--

INEZ: Shush! Let an interview have its space.

SHERIDAN: (darting a glance to BARNEY) Amen, that. (back to GARY) Would you say this string of events fits into your definition of ‘rapture’?

GARY: Oh, my dear, you should come to our scriptural studies to avoid the dangers of abbreviation…

SHERIDAN: Valid point, I’m sure; yet even these placards are abbreviations, offering no context to the individuals you’re attempting to influence.

GARY: Conversations happen from encounters with the divine…

SHERIDAN: So, to play on that idea: insurance companies may call a natural disaster an ‘act of God’. Is that what’s happening in Billings these days?

GARY: Again, an abbreviation and an abomination. There’s nothing more egregious than the non-believer presuming the mind of God.

SHERIDAN: Breaking the 2nd commandment, if I remember.

GARY: Another abbreviation, but let that pass.

SHERIDAN: Abbreviations, then, as you profess, seem antagonistic to your cause--is that fair to say?

GARY: Secular abbreviations more often than not are Satan’s way of diverting the message away from God’s elaboration.

SHERIDAN: Do you have an example?

GARY: Revelations 16: after the greatest earthquake the world has ever known, Babylon splits into three parts, and cities of all nations collapse as well.

SHERIDAN: Babylon…you mean Baghdad?

GARY: or modern Jerusalem, or Amsterdam, or Bangkok,

SHERIDAN: or Billings?

GARY: As we bear witness.

BARNEY: (aside, to INEZ) Did the dude just say ‘Babylon’?

SHERIDAN: What are those “three parts” in the collapse?

GARY: To abbreviate--not too wise, you now gather, but--Sodom is one part, and we’ve seen symptoms of that at Walmart--

SHERIDAN: Walmart is Sodom? I’m not sure I--

GARY: Do you want the three, or not?

SHERIDAN: (raising her eyebrows) Go on.

GARY: Mahanaim is another, the place upon the Jabbok river where Jacob wrestled with the angel of God, refusing to lose, wrestling through the night with no victorious outcome--

BARNEY: Wait, (shooting a glance at SHERIDAN) if I may--you believe in wrestling matches ordained by God?

GARY: More than that: we believe in God’s plan for everything, whether people grapple with it or not. It’s worth saying that the angel blesses Jacob with the eternal designation of ‘Israel’--you who have struggled with God--and Jacob, in turn, designates the area as ‘Peniel’: having seen the face of God, I deserve to die. Instead, I remain alive.

SHERIDAN: And the partition of this enraptured city is by the side of a river.., like where we stand now?

GARY: It is, by abbreviation.

INEZ: For all these abbreviations, sir, people here have real concerns--

GARY: --the very reason we are here, young lady. And have you any handle of your spiritual fate?

BARNEY: She’s not your molding clay to manhandle, if that’s where you’re going--

SHERIDAN: --well, not quite the analogy, but… I’ll support my ‘brethren’ in the broader MSU: we’re merely reporters of what’s going on, not potential converts.

GARY: We look not to convert anyone, for all our efforts have long since expired.

SHERIDAN: An interesting observation, if your efforts at present are to be counted…

GARY: ‘Conversations’, not conversions. I’m sure you heard that lucidly the first time.

SHERIDAN: Yes, that distinction rings rather… clear. And, to keep it going, you have another partition from the ‘great earthquake’ we should be made aware of…

GARY: You should read these signs by yourself--

BARNEY: Then your mind is self-absorbed, or the signs you ‘abbreviate’ are stupid--

INEZ: Barn! Respect, por favor--

SHERIDAN: (turning to them) I’m sure our guest--or our host, as the occasion may have it--would understand we aren’t looking to antagonize any point of view; rather the opposite: to interact. We do see the signs and sincerely hope for an end to--

GARY: --to God’s proclamation, made many times over?

SHERIDAN: (swinging her head in consideration) I’ll hold out until I hear the third part…

GARY: You are not prepared--

INEZ: Is this a conversation of a conversion?

BARNEY: Or a fuckin’ run-around? Hold on (manipulating his iPhone), I think I got you pegged...

SHERIDAN: (staring him down, turning from GARY) Careful, Barney--in the ethics of journalism, I’ll remind you that we’re broadcasting everything you’re--

INEZ: (behind BARNEY) What the hell? Led Zeppelin?

BARNEY: ‘The Battle for Evermore’, right? And (singing in synch to Robert Plant) “angels of Babylon waiting for the eastern glow”--

INEZ: ‘Angels of Avalon’, I heard--

BARNEY: No, it’s what this guy’s talking about--’Babylon’--

INEZ: ‘Avalon’ is a totally different mythology, you dork!

BARNEY: What’s the difference anyway? Avalon, Babylon,

INEZ: --Cavelon? Davelon?

SHERIDAN: --cut it out, we have more pressing matters to--

GARY: --no, I appreciate the tussle.

SHERIDAN: (turning back to GARY) Tussle? We are not wrestling at the Jabbok river--

GARY: O, but we are assembled here along the Yellowstone for God’s edification…

SHERIDAN: Come to the third part, to give credence to this ‘conversation’...

GARY: Gladly. Bear in mind, though, you’ve not given any prayer to the previous two--

INEZ: And have you?

GARY: Are you suggesting--

INEZ: --that you can’t define ‘prayer’? Yes, I will take that question on ‘gladly’, as you say--

SHERIDAN: (deadlocked on GARY) Take that on after this coverage, please: what is that third part of the rapture you conjecture?

GARY: (visibly distracted by INEZ’s challenge) The third… part… is, well…

BARNEY: Beyond your capacity!

GARY: No, not that, but...rather… hard to abbreviate….

BARNEY: You bastard!

INEZ: (to BARNEY) For fuck’s sake!

GARY: For God’s sake, really.

SHERIDAN: Meaning?

GARY: Meaning we have to be rooted in books beyond Genesis--

SHERIDAN: --and Revelations…

GARY: The whole Bible’s our frame, to be sure. Godless Sodom and God-graced Mahanaim define our natural walk on this earth. And then there is Mount Carmel, where God condemns false prophets in their futile challenge to His power.

SHERIDAN: And in context to Billings, has that happened?

GARY: (pointing at his placard) It is ‘NEAR’.


IIIii: at the nursing home: DESERET places her right hand flat on the middle of a large, completed puzzle and swivels it to aim a corner towards her. She carefully pulls the sliding picture to the edge, where her left hand holds the empty box. Thumbing pieces to unhinge, they slowly tumble in.

BERENICE: You developed a new method, Dear.

LAWRENCE: Always keeping on the cutting edge--

DESERET: Not too ground-breaking. Just that my fingers are losing agility to pick these critters piece by piece.

ELMER: Maybe you don’t have to break them up--

DESERET: Oh, they’ll be as happy all together back in the box.

ELMER: Dark in there. And you think they’re happier in disarray?

DESERET: I said ‘as happy’. (some pieces miss the box and spill to the floor) See, Larry, I’m not so innovative here.

BERENICE: (scooting over) I’ll be the catcher in the rye--

LAWRENCE: When you’re finished, I’ll pick the rest up from the floor.

ELMER: Mine are happy holding everything together--wait, (pointing at the television) there’s an update on those holes. Can someone turn the volume up?

LAWRENCE: (getting up) Maybe not the news we’re looking for--she doesn’t look too optimistic.

ELIZABETH: ‘...which continues to be inconclusive. This sinkhole, approximately sixty yards away, is distinguishing itself to be much more dangerous than yesterday’s. We have with us an MSU geology professor to help us define the problem. Professor Plumlee, you’ve brought some of your students here to witness what’s going on--’

SUSAN: ‘--it’s important to underscore the mandate: we are staying on this side of the police cordon and expect the parameters to broaden as surveyors need to do their work.’

ELIZABETH: ‘Surveyors and rescuers. What can you suggest about the park ranger who disappeared in this larger hole?’

SUSAN: ‘Like everyone here, my heart’s in my throat and—we’re just… hoping…’

ELIZABETH: ‘Indeed, we all are. Is this gravelly soil typical of this area?’

SUSAN: From the helicopter video, I gather a higher silt loam concentration beneath the marl and shale substratum than seems to be the case in the smaller hole.’

ELIZABETH: ‘Which you’ve examined?’

SUSAN: ‘No, I’m not part of the surveyor team, but the university is prepared to do the analytics when samples are ready.’

ELIZABETH: ‘Silt loam is like… quicksand?’

SUSAN: ‘No, not technically for our area. But evidently, the conditions for this larger hole are equally as dangerous. Presently, the long arm of that firetruck is the only way rescuers have been able to tether down and dig.’

ELIZABETH: ‘Is it possible there could be any air pockets for the victim?’

SUSAN: ‘I can’t be here to speculate; we have to hold out hope. Pockets or not, the matter of breathable air depends on channels that connect to the surface.’

ELIZABETH: ‘Do such channels exist? Linking maybe to the Pictograph Caves?’

SUSAN: ‘Those are four miles away and, in and of themselves, a closed system. But cavern channels can aerate through springs and other, smaller outlets.’

BERENICE: I remember many a field trip to Pictograph Caves.

ELMER: You have to climb a bit to get to those. I don’t know why they’d bring them up for this report--

DESERET: Air channels--the rescuers have to have something to go by…

ELMER: Picking at straws, if you ask me.

DESERET: That’s kind of crass, Elmer. You heard the geology lady: it’s not quicksand, but just as dangerous. They’ll try to recover the body, live or dead, but they’ve also got to find out what’s happening along the river--

LAWRENCE: And here in the Heights, don’t forget.

ELMER: No, that Walmart incident has got to be a different deal. It’s human faulty infrastructure.

BERENICE: Don’t you think the ground could have shifted to make it...faultier?

ELMER: (sifting through puzzle pieces outside a completed frame) I… don’t think so.

DESERET: Don’t sound so convincing.

LAWRENCE: Holy smoley (pointing at the tv) --look at what they’re doing!

ELIZABETH: (voicing over live video from a helicopter focusing on a rescuer being lifted from the loam) ‘It appears he’s ok--he has a breathing apparatus on, something like a miniature scuba outfit, that has enabled him to delve into the sinkhole, attached to the cable on the extended latter, of course. He’s pointing down rather actively, as if he may have found the ranger they’ve been looking for--’

ELMER: Well, he’s can’t be alive after all this time--

BERENICE: Where’s your faith, Mister?

LAWRENCE: Yeah, even that kid who get caught under the ice of Lake Elmo a couple years ago--how long was he in, thirty minutes?

BERENICE: Oh, much longer. His heart was stopped for an hour--

ELMER: But, not to burst your bubble, the near-freezing water had everything to do with what essentially was a coma condition. That’s not what exists in this quicksand--

DESERET: The professor specifically said it was not quicksand--

ELMER: --but acted like it.

LAWRENCE: She’s gone silent, suddenly. The camera’s on her, if she doesn’t know--

BERENICE: Maybe she knows something in her earpiece she doesn’t want to tell…

LAWRENCE: She’s got to tell--that’s her job!

BERENICE: But it could be awful, or speculative, or (as the screen cuts to a ‘BREAKING NEWS’ graphic and studio cue)...some intervention…

SCOTT PELLEY: ‘We at CBS News are following a rescue attempt at another sinkhole in Billings, Montana, the second in as many days along the Yellowstone River. KTVQ correspondent Elizabeth Heron has been at the site of this operation. What can you tell us, Elizabeth?’

ELIZABETH: (pressing a different earpiece to each ear, with her microphone pointing behind her, she mouths something the mic can’t pick up, especially in the increasing roar of the helicopter) ‘… We… are being… Scott?’

DESERET: Nobody can hear her.

LAWRENCE: We can all see she’s in some distress.

BERENICE: Is this what the youngsters call ‘reality tv’?

ELMER: If so, I think I’ve had enough--

DESERET: Can’t call it quits, Elmer. Not without more of a picture--

SCOTT PELLEY: ‘Elizabeth? If you can hear me, we cannot clearly pick up your audio…. We are witnessing extraordinary footage; the helicopter is, however, drowning out the sound feed from our field reporter…. Let’s see if we can get back to her. Elizabeth, is this--’

ELIZABETH: (now back on video, but picking up with SUSAN) ‘We’ve lost Scott Pelley, but wanted to get your take on what this rescuer is so animated about--’

SUSAN: (bemused) ‘I can’t hear anything from here, but by the looks of it, he may be anxious about the perimeter--’

SCOTT: (voicing in, the camera still on the interview). ‘Pardon, this is Scott Pelley, are we connecting?’

ELIZABETH: (nervously pressing her microphone to her cheek as she looks toward her right). ‘Um, Scott--wait, Professor, you should be hearing this…’ (lifting an earpiece and leaning toward SUSAN) ‘Jesus, really?’

SCOTT: ‘Developments appear to be unfolding in this fluid situation. If we can cut back to the helicopter shot--’

SUSAN: (yelling away from ELIZABETH) ‘Sheridan, c’mon!--we are told we need--’

ELIZABETH: (holding the microphone conventionally) ‘Scott, can you hear me? We’ll roll as we can but have been told to--’

SUSAN: ‘Sheridan, retreat!’ (running off to the right) ‘Sheridan!’

Screen suddenly silences with a blue CBS News logo.


IIIiii: Drake & Plumlee. RAY stares catatonically at the widescreen television in the conference room. JENNIFER, across the table, jerks her neck and reaches for her phone. The blue logo glows through her lightning finger taps and RAY’s clasp of his temples.

JENNIFER: (reaching over not quite to RAY’s elbow) I’m calling KTVQ. You’ve got Elizabeth’s personal number?

RAY: (incredulous) Elizabeth’s? I got my wife’s, for God’s sake! What the hell just happened?

JENNIFER: Call her--let’s not presume anything.

RAY: Didn’t you see? (fumbling in his pocket to get his phone) She’s running off the set yelling our daughter’s name!

JENNIFER: One of your twins? I thought they went to school in Hardin.

RAY: No, it’s Sheridan. She’s older, studying at Bozeman. What in God’s--

JENNIFER: Did she mention her when she told you to watch CBS?

RAY: No. She texted me. (swiping to pull up the message) ‘Being interviewed by CBS, live at 5. Pmu belknap av’. (dialing her) I’ll need to belt outta here--

JENNIFER: Pmu?

RAY: ‘pick me up’--no plural in that.

JENNIFER: How did Sheridan get here?

RAY: How should I know? I’m frickin’ lost. (shaking his phone) Answer, goddamn it!

MARY: (entering, confused by the static screen) Is everything alright?

JENNIFER: (getting up and walking around to exit) Stay with Ray, I’m getting Harvey.

MARY: Uh,.. I can…

RAY: Shit! (dialing another number) Mary, please get-- Sher? Are you there? Where’s Mom?... What?! And where are you?... Why?... What made you think… ok, you’re right. Get on safer ground--Mom said Belknap Avenue… is that where you parked?

HARVEY: (coming in with JENNIFER, simultaneously as the television flashes back to helicopter footage) My God, what’s going on?

RAY: (looking up to see the firetruck half-slid into the much expanded hole) Sher, you need to get the hell out of there… Do you see Mom?

JENNIFER: (whispering to HARVEY) We were just a couple minutes ago watching CBS interview Ray’s wife--

HARVEY: Let’s get over there--or tell us, Ray, what you need.

RAY: I need somebody to monitor exactly this screen and whatever other media that can verify what’s going on. (quickly back to his phone) Sher, I’m coming to Belknap and you need to stay there and keep your phone absolutely unbusy--just for my call or Mom’s, understand? Good. I’m there as fast as gas can go…. Yes, love you--get to Belknap or wherever they say is safe. Bye.

HARVEY: (pulling RAY up from his chair, like an athlete knocked down) Sheridan is in town? Or is Bozeman also under siege?

RAY: I don’t have any idea why she’s here--but worse, we both don’t know where Sue is--

JENNIFER: Look--Elizabeth’s back on, which is hopeful--

ELIZABETH: ‘Major turn of events, Scott, as the rescue team is now scrambling to evaluate the stability of the equipment around the sinkhole. We’re now approximately a hundred yards away and… we’re told we have to make more room for a complicated towing operation--the sinking truck is tethered to another, smaller one, but--Scott, we’re cutting to just aerial footage for the time being--’

SCOTT PELLEY: ‘Yes, our affiliate KTVQ in Billings, for those who are just tuning in, is reporting at the edge of a sinkhole that, as live footage continues--’

RAY: I can’t look at this anymore. Between my daughter seeking safe ground and some talking head from a Washington bureau (exhaling in frustration) is my wife--

JENNIFER: Listen, Ray, she was just in the picture with the local reporter--she can’t be far away--

RAY: There’s no relative distance in this scene, (heading out the door) if some thanks for the optimism--

JENNIFER: (hesitating for a moment before telling HARVEY) I think I’ll go with him--

HARVEY: (staring at the screen) That… seems reasonable…

CBS coverage continues a gradual panoply of chaos on the riverfront, the firetrucks of paramount concern tilted into the earth as individuals run away from--and some toward--the succubus.

SCOTT PELLEY: ‘A reminder that this is raw footage while our Billings correspondent needs to reposition, so we’ll do our best to narrate from afar. And this just in: we’ve been told of another, much smaller sinkhole at a campground along this same Yellowstone River, about a half-mile south... I don’t think we’ll cut away from this feed--or perhaps we can split screen?... There’s a lot, folks, we don’t know, but we’ll be on top of--’

JENNIFER: (in the passenger seat of the Ford Fusion) Are you scared?

RAY: (upshifting in the luck of a green light) Is that a leading question?

JENNIFER: I just… didn’t want you… to be scared.

RAY: So you want me to be unscared.

JENNIFER: I want you to be off-duty, and I’ll be on…

RAY: (looking less at her than her phone, which has captured the same footage they just left) You’ll be viewing from that phone?

JENNIFER: I can turn this off-- I will--

RAY: (darting her a glance which she receives) Of course not--please keep that on and whatever else can help us stay afloat--

JENNIFER: (putting the phone into her purse) I will. (swallowing a thought) You know how to get there?

RAY: (swivelling and shifting down) Is that a question? Where Belknap Avenue is?

JENNIFER: Just not the Pizza Hut side--it doesn’t go under the interstate… It’s confusing that way.

RAY: About the least confusing thing today. And there’ll probably be cops to bust through, too.

JENNIFER: You got every right. And I can always speed-dial the deputy sheriff.

RAY: What?

JENNIFER: Dated him last year. Ended amicably.

RAY: Nice to know. Listen, just--I’m likely going to have to bail out--can you drive this thing?

JENNIFER: Stick? Maybe. I’ve driven tractors before.

RAY: Good enough, I think. Even if I can’t really think.

JENNIFER: Leave logistics to me, Boss--

RAY: Don’t… or, you don’t have to call me that.

JENNIFER: (softly toward her window) Buddy?

RAY: Nah. (turning a hard left) I feel more like a baby. Irritable, don’t know what’s going on--

JENNIFER: Here’s Belknap, and no cops…

RAY: And no Sheridan in sight--

JENNIFER: Patience…

RAY: There she is. Thank God. (accelerating, then screeching before pulling up the hand brake) Sher! You ok? Word on Mom?

SHERIDAN: No! Daddy, I’m going nuts here--they won’t let us back. And then she marches through the security line--

RAY: ‘She’ meaning Mom?

SHERIDAN: Who do you think? Wonder Woman?

RAY: (to Barney and Inez) Are you her students?

INEZ: We are.

BARNEY: She’s not looking for us, though--I mean, she would if we were missing--

INEZ: Then we should go looking for her!

RAY: No--stay put. Or better yet, move on out, now that my car is here. Sher, you can pick up your sisters in Hardin and head home.

SHERIDAN: I don’t want to leave without knowing about Mom.

RAY: Listen, we’re hearing there’s a third hole just down thereabouts--this whole side of the river might cave in. Just get yourself and Cam and Tam home--be on the safe side! Mom and I will follow soon enough.

SHERIDAN: (pointing at JENNIFER) What about her?

RAY: This is Jen, from the office--she can go with you if you need--

SHERIDAN: legal help? A babysitter?

JENNIFER: (extending her hand) I’m just… trying to be an advocate, truest sense of the term.

RAY: Actually, Jen, stay here by the car--I may need that speed dial you mentioned.

SHERIDAN: What?

RAY: And you kids get going--Sher, you’ll swing them by the campus and head straight to Hardin, ok?

SHERIDAN: (scowling) You better bring Mom home.

RAY: (pacing quickly away) Love you!

JENNIFER: (as SHERIDAN, BARNEY and INEZ get into the Mazda) Be careful!

SHERIDAN: Me, or Dad?

JENNIFER: Well, everybody.., don’t you think?


IIIiv: MSU campus, the faculty lounge for the Department of Earth Sciences. SUSAN unlocks the door and enters, followed by RAY, the rescue worker AARON, and JENNIFER.

SUSAN: (pointing to the couches, heading toward a desk computer) Make yourselves comfortable. Ray, would you brew up some coffee?

AARON: (hesitating at a couch) I’m still pretty dusty--don’t wanna mess this nice place up.

SUSAN: No, you’re good. (tapping in a password) We don’t have much time, anyway. I’m checking what’s been archived here on subterranean surveys recently in this area--I don’t think there’ll be much, frankly, as our research has mainly been outside the city.

AARON: (sitting down) Stands to reason. In fact, the fire department should have all the info on the inner-structures of the city.

RAY: Do you?

AARON: Evidently not enough. This phenomenon is as out of the blue for us as it is for--

JENNIFER: Do you see a connection between the river area and Walmart?

RAY: Jen, I don’t think we should mix our case in with--

SUSAN: No, I’m just as interested in that--how a crack in human infrastructure may point to what ground surveyors call ‘asperities’.

AARON: I wasn’t involved with the Walmart investigation, so I really couldn’t say how it relates. But what we got--and I couldn’t say this very well at the emergency site or even in the car--

RAY: Are you ok to speak off-the-record?

SUSAN: Shush! (coming over to sit next to AARON) Go on.

AARON: (turning to RAY briefly) There’s no on- or off-record protocol for this thing. I’ve been given a reprieve for the evening--well, would have clocked out anyway on an average day. (turning back to SUSAN) What I sensed underneath that pit is a cavern, huge--perhaps the likes of which we’ve never seen.

SUSAN: How do you sense it? What kind of clue?

AARON: When they lowered me in I had just one objective--to find Frank--

JENNIFER: The park ranger? You knew him personally?

AARON: As an acquaintance, in the circles of work--

JENNIFER: And,.. he’s… I’m sorry.

AARON: He’s almost certainly dead--I think that was conceded before I went in. And I could have felt emotional about it, but I was in a duty-mindset. If it sounds crass, I apologize; I was also trying to figure out where all this rock and soil were going--draining into... I don’t know--

SUSAN: Certainly into some vadose zone--you didn’t at all get wet?

AARON: No--you saw exactly how I came up, dusty and dry.

SUSAN: Above any water table. But it’s strange, so close to the river: the aquifer would tend to be shallow.

AARON: And would an aquifer release current into a huge cave?

SUSAN: No, aquifers are water-saturated earth, distinct from underground rivers. Why are you thinking of a huge cave?

AARON: I was digging for a while, probing for Frank, in the sandiest part of the hole--

RAY: I can’t even believe they let you dive into that--

AARON: My cable’s strong, and we had sensors set up and radio communication. I mean--it’s what we gotta do. Anyway, I was just sort of stabbing with a pole when suddenly it felt like a trapdoor opened beneath my feet, and I jerked down pretty hard--lost grip on the pole--and, because the cable was taut, just hung there for a second as the gravel rushed down, and--this is what got me--I faintly heard the pole crash and echo against some kind of hard surface. Couldn’t hear much, of course, but it mesmerised me for the second or two I called for the cable to yank me out.

SUSAN: Lucky for you--the force of rushing rock would break your neck, the cable only making it worse.

AARON: Chalk it up for our learning curve.

RAY: (knuckling three mugs of coffee and setting them on a table between the couches) You think Frank got sucked down that same hole?

AARON: Hard to say--again, it felt like a trapdoor triggered by my weight. But obviously that hole or others like it drained a hell of a lot to make the pit.

JENNIFER: (checking her phone’s video feed) Hey, the firetruck’s been towed out.

RAY: (leaning over to see) Maybe it would have plugged the hole.

AARON: Or gone right through. At about a million bucks of city tax.

SUSAN: Any update on the sinkhole at the campground?

JENNIFER: No.., but the picture they finally showed was about like the original one, with the bike.

AARON: Still, something’s triggering these little trapdoors. I think the ceiling of this cave has got to be pretty thin--

RAY: I just can’t imagine anything under the city that large--especially if it stretches up to the Heights.

SUSAN: That’s why I think there’s faultline activity involved.

AARON: An earthquake?

JENNIFER: Then we’d feel tremors, right?

SUSAN: Not necessarily. (going back to the computer) I’ll try to summon up seismic data--

RAY: …Something so large we knew nothing about, swallowing a couple people (snapping) just like that.

AARON: Who besides Frank?

RAY: Well, the Walmart guard--he’s also a casualty. And almost you, and I thought Sue, and--

JENNIFER: And this is why the media’s swarming in.

SUSAN: From what I’m seeing here, time-stamped yesterday, there’s nothing particularly unusual east of the national park, and normal readings there.

RAY: I wonder if this is a product of fracking?

AARON: Any drilling’s at least five-to-ten miles north of city limits--nothing near the river.

RAY: Nothing that we know of, but that’s been the story so-- (his phone buzzes and he digs it out) Damn! I forgot to call Sheridan. (answering) Hey, Sher--where are you? And the girls?... Good…. What?... Ok--no, I meant to say--Mom’s ok. She’s here…. Yeah, I know, I should have… She’s here, ok? I’ll prove it-- (giving the phone to SUSAN)

SUSAN: Hi, honey… No, I know,.. probably dumb of me. Of course I didn’t fall in. Maybe my phone did--lost it in the scramble… What?... No, Dad’s not mad. Why should he be?

RAY: Cuz you gave me a heart attack.

JENNIFER: (softly) Ahh, that’s sweet.

AARON: Hey, I think everybody’s heart’s gone wild today.

SUSAN: Listen, Sheridan, we’ll be home as soon as we can. How was traffic on the bridge?

RAY: (to JENNIFER) You got any updates on no-go zones?

JENNIFER: Let me check.

SUSAN: We might go through Huntley, then. Just stay put… Throw in some pizzas, we’ll be home soon…. Love you, here’s Dad again. (giving the phone to RAY, then addressing AARON) Where can we drop you off?

AARON: I think I might just as well go back to the station, 8th Avenue--easy walk from here.

SUSAN: Don’t you want to be home?

AARON: I’d be antsy in my apartment.

JENNIFER: Me, too, but that’s where I’m heading. Or maybe Perkins, first.

AARON: If Billings life goes on.


IVi: Benteen, the Plumlee household. SHERIDAN is speaking on the landline phone while unwrapping frozen pizzas; CAM is scrolling on a laptop; TAMMY and TROY are sitting on the couch watching the relentless helicopter coverage on television. PENNIES lies at their feet, seemingly uninterested.

CAM: (over her shoulder, to SHERIDAN) Don’t hang up before I talk with them--

SHERIDAN: (shouldering the phone) Yeah, I’m putting together a wholesome meal. Would have been Sports Booster burgers outside the gym, but they shut that down and told us to go straight home…. (to CAM) Pick up the phone in the other room--they’re in a hurry, Mom says.

CAM: (taking the laptop with her, and mumbling) Of course they are.

TAMMY: I still don’t get why they cancelled the game. I mean, Hardin is probably the safest place to be in the state right now.

TROY: They’re making quite a fuss about traffic on I-94.

TAMMY: But Dawson’s team could’ve looped down on 212, avoiding 94 altogether. Maybe be better for everybody just to bash volleyballs instead of watching apocalypse tv…

TROY: Then turn it off. We got the gist, and your parents are out of the danger zone.

TAMMY: I’m tuning in because I kinda have to: it’s going to dominate discussion way beyond what stuff they’re going to have to cancel. Maybe even school tomorrow--

TROY: Like a snow day!

TAMMY: Is that why you jumped into the car? Our igloo’s better than yours?

TROY: It’s cozier here, that’s for sure.

TAMMY: Well, try not to look too comfy when Dad arrives.

TROY: That’ll take an hour at least. (pointing to the tv) The interstate’s a one-lane trickle…

SHERIDAN: (off the phone, coming over) They said they’re gonna take the bridge at Huntley and Pryor Creek Road.

TAMMY: How did they sound? I mean, you left them a wreck--

SHERIDAN: I left Dad thinking that Mom had fallen into the earth. That makes me a wreck?

TAMMY: I didn’t mean it critically.

TROY: Damn, can’t imagine what it’d feel like.

SHERIDAN: Getting sucked into the earth?

TROY: That, too, but… just, being uncertain.

TAMMY: You see enough movies on it--mostly with DiCaprio.

TROY: Not the same. I mean, you go into a movie knowing there’s going to be suspense and all, but you also know the drama’s over in a couple hours. That’s the opposite of uncertainty.

SHERIDAN: Things played out really fast today, like the future flooding in. I had no idea leaving Bozeman this morning what I was getting into: I wanted a personal window into that Walmart story and things just snowballed. Mom was spectacular today, going off-script from her lecture on shale, then talking to CBS and diving right into the clarity and chaos of the day’s news. I guess if I’m hoping to be a journalist.., well...

TAMMY: You’ll use your common sense. Not like this knucklehead (indicating the screen):

KEITH: ‘So, as we’ve managed to get behind this tree, you now have an exclusive look at what the pit is doing just meters away. Slowly, the soil and gravel is funnelling down a hole at the bottom, still unseen, like a huge hourglass. Now, if I throw this stick in--mind you, I’m trying not to give our position away, but in the interest of understanding--and watch carefully, it will either sink from sight or stay upon the surface. The firetruck that was towed out just a half-hour ago could have been like this stick--tons bigger, of course--and we’ll track what it does as for long as we can. Keep it on FOX, folks: we’re the ones defining the story.’

SHERIDAN: That’s where Mom was, and the firefighter who tried to rescue the park ranger--

TAMMY: --whose corpse is going to be poked by Keith Babcock’s stick--

TROY: You don’t know if that ranger died. He could be like your mom, suddenly discovered alive.

SHERIDAN: There’s a difference, Troy. I didn’t know where my mother was and, due to the craziness, I imagined the worst. But everyone pretty much knows where this ranger is, and you can imagine the best for him, yet…

CAM: (hearing that, upon entering) There’s all kind of chatter online about air cavities--

TROY: Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking, too. If that hourglass idea has any merit, the sand’s going into some chamber that hasn’t filled up--

TAMMY: But where would the air come from? Empty space doesn’t equal air, necessarily…

TROY: Don’t know; gotta keep tuning in.

TAMMY: Pretty much: get sucked into the story.., like following the progress of that stupid stick--

CAM: Why the heck you guys watching FOX, anyway?

SHERIDAN: (reaching for the remote) I agree--let’s stay with KTVQ, and maybe they’ll replay Mom’s interview…

ELIZABETH: ‘evacuating the campsite as we speak. Now, it’s important to underscore that a city-wide evacuation schedule has not been issued and, as far as we’ve been told, residents are encouraged to stay at home and avoid the riverfront; also, unless completely necessary, everyone’s advised to avoid I-94 between Mullowney Lane and the Highway 87 juncture. While the past hour has shown no new instances of ground displacement, we’re monitoring throughout the area and will update every--’

TAMMY: She’s a pro.

TROY: But are people really tuned in? I mean, traffic updates are important and all…

SHERIDAN: She’s saying more than that. Like for residents to stay in their own homes.

CAM: Yeah, like I think she was looking at you, Troy.

TROY: Hey, I’m just doing my citizen best to step in--

TAMMY: (laughing) Training to be ‘man of the house’?

SHERIDAN: We already have Pennies here in that capacity.

CAM: Hey, tell Troy how he got the name--

TAMMY: (rolling her eyes) No, Cam, it gets more boring every time.

CAM: When I tell it, maybe, but, c’mon! Sher?

SHERIDAN: Ask the dog--he’s the original source.

TROY: (scratching the spaniel’s scruff) Oh, I didn’t know you could speak! So, what’s the big secret, Pooch?

CAM: ‘Pooch’--now how would you spell that, Tammy?

TAMMY: Um.. ‘S-H-U-T-blank-U-P’

CAM: Ok, so, I get out some kindergarten paint--

TAMMY: I was in preschool, idiot; so were you--

CAM: And I go out to the doghouse Dad proudly built for our new puppy.

TROY: This old guy was once a puppy?

CAM: Beautiful copper fur, like new pennies--right, Tam? Spelled… let me see.

TAMMY: Spelled like it sounds to the 4-year old who actually tried out stuff like that.

CAM: Tried out?

TAMMY: Spelled out.

CAM: ‘P-E-N-’

TAMMY: --yes, yes, ‘I-E-S’

CAM: No, you forgot the second ‘E’!

SHERIDAN: --and the second ‘N’.

TROY: Wait, what?

TAMMY: (exaggerating a sigh) I painted ‘penis’ over his door--big deal.

TROY: Well, he can’t read anyway...

CAM: Dad praised your efforts! Mom didn’t see it for a week--probably had visitors over who did. Gosh was she pissed!

TAMMY: (sliding off the couch to hug Pennies) Have some heart; we almost lost her today.

SHERIDAN: That’s why we’re laughing--the lost has been found.

TROY: (rising and walking over to the patio doors, blackened after the quick sunset) I wonder if the park warden had a dog…


IVii: Benteen, the following morning. SUSAN is at the kitchen table studying data on a laptop, the only glow of light so as not to wake TROY on the livingroom couch. RAY light-foots in and opens the front door for PENNIES to go out, lugubriously. Then he takes a mug out of the dishwasher and pours himself a cup of coffee, topping off SUSAN’s as well.

SUSAN: (softly) Thanks.

RAY: (just as softly) What d’ya got?

SUSAN: Not much of an update: Yellowstone County shows some activity in the Billings area that would be imperceptible without a seismograph. The sinkholes themselves could account for that measure, but what I can’t see yet is whether they are products of an intraplate tremor.

RAY: An earthquake?

SUSAN: Not your fault-line variety, but… even so, it’s possible.

RAY: Anything in Big Horn?

SUSAN: Nope. We’re as calm as can be.

RAY: Until the exodus of Billings tramples our way--

SUSAN: --or at least to Hardin. Did you see the email sent out by the principal?

RAY: No, what’s it say?

SUSAN: School closed to anticipate some displaced people--

RAY: Which so far are only a few campers--and they’re already mobile in their RVs.

SUSAN: The key word is ‘anticipate’: we saw the rush last night and most of them probably didn’t have much of a plan.

RAY: What do you want the girls to do today? Stay put?

SUSAN: Of course--what else should they do?

RAY: I dunno, maybe help the school set up?

SUSAN: I read ‘closed’ literally. I’m sure we’ll have a chance to reassess later on.

RAY: And Sheridan?

SUSAN: Glad she’s here. I’m leaving her a note to drive home Troy--

RAY: No, I’m going to wake him up him now. I’d rather the Mazda not go out. (going over to the couch and nudging TROY awake) Morning, Troy--we’re heading through Hardin in the next couple minutes.

TROY: (sleepily) Um, what? No, that’s ok--

RAY: Not a suggestion, Bud. You got your own house to fend for.

TROY: (yawning) Alright.

SUSAN: Maybe we can drive you back here for dinner.

TROY: (stretching) Cool. Hey, where’s the dog?

RAY: Outside. You can call him in if you want.

RAY pours the rest of his coffee into the sink and goes upstairs. SUSAN finishes some typing on the laptop and closes it; she then writes a note and magnets it to the fridge. TROY manages to get PENNIES in and tidies up the couch pillows. Each looking back their own way, they go through the garage door and into the Fusion. As the car starts, the final line of the ‘Gift of Gab’ intro poses the familiar question:

            ‘I wonder what went wrong with that song
Far away…’

TROY: Sounds optimistic.

RAY: Right on. You heard this talk-show, Troy?

TROY: Um, not really sure… Oh--this lady: I think my mom tunes in.

RAY: Good judgment.

TROY: But I’m kind of skeptical.

SUSAN: Good judgment!

RAY: Why?

TROY: Oh, I don’t know… Just all these talk shows seem like,.. well, I don’t want to offend.

RAY: No offense when your opinion’s been invited.

TROY: From what little I’ve heard, she’s different than that Rush dude that creates all the ditto-heads…

SUSAN: What? Who are ‘ditto-heads’?

TROY: His followers. Those who call in to his show.

RAY: Or those that his switchboard operator will let on the air. Gabby here is a one-woman show, so she doesn’t have such a switchboard filter.

SUSAN: I still don’t get why they’re designated as ‘ditto-heads’.

TROY: I don’t much either, but the times I’ve heard ‘em--when my dad’s driving, for instance--the caller usually starts his comment by saying ‘dittos’--like, ditto what’s just been said.

SUSAN: By Limbaugh?

TROY: I guess, or the previous caller.

RAY: It’s the ‘yeah, what he said’ way of weighing in. I agree, Troy, a lot of stations funnel their listeners’ perspectives to a singular point of view.

SUSAN: You’re saying ‘dittos’ to Troy?

RAY: I’m agreeing with his observation, and there’s nothing wrong with that; I’m sure we’d pleasantly disagree on another topic like… um… What’s your favorite rock band?

TROY: Led Zeppelin, probably.

RAY: Oh, dang it! Dittos.

SUSAN: Nice try. My turn: are you planning on marrying our daughter?

TROY: Ah, dittos?

SUSAN: You can’t ditto an open question.

RAY: Alright, let’s let Gab get a word in edgewise-- (turning up the volume)

GABBY: ‘which is exactly why we’re in this push-pull set of circumstances: thousands need to get away from the inexplicable, seeing it as a threat, and thousands of others want to get closer to the phenomenal, seeing it as a novelty. That’s the spectrum of stampedes and gaper blocks--and, of course, the middle thousands who are, as advised, staying home so that city officials can operate on the problem. I myself rarely disclose my driving route but I’ll admit I’m still heading into the city this morning to touch base with the studio--my ‘day job’, effectively, after the morning rush is over--and in so doing, for the record, I’m going to totally avoid I-94 and all of south Billings. Could’ve just as likely ‘phoned it in’, as they say, and broadcast from home, probably sitting in my driveway if only for the familiarity. Would like to hear what you all are doing today, so I’ll take your calls at--’

SUSAN: ‘What are we doing today?’ Are we going to hear a litany of personal schedules?

TROY: I doubt there’ll be ditto-heads.

RAY: Well, I for one want to know how ripples affect ripples: balancing any ‘business as usual’ with a lot of unknowns. I might see zero clients or twice as many than a typical day--

SUSAN: Twice zero?

RAY: You know what I mean.

GABBY: ‘Thanks for that call; let’s take another--who’s this?’

GARY: ‘I represent the Church of Rapture, Ma’am.’

GABBY: ‘Can’t say I’ve heard of that--but can we have your name?’

SUSAN: Hey, I think this is the zealot who Sheridan was interviewing--
           
GARY: ‘Have you any handle of your spiritual fate?’

GABBY: ‘Is that the extent of your question?

GARY: ‘Sure--it extends far enough.’

GABBY: ‘Not if you’re directing this rather unrelated question to me exclusively, while an audience of--oh, I don’t know--six thousand or so would be drumming their fingers.’

GARY: ‘Not necessarily. The question is for them, too.’

GABBY: ‘Well, I’d give you a “fair enough” but it isn’t fair enough--’

GARY: ‘I said “far enough”--’

GABBY: ‘You did say that. And I’m refuting your premise. We’re talking today about the practical question of how folks will deal with the uniqueness of this day in Billings, and you may have another interest, but--’

GARY: ‘Spiritual fate is an entirely practical question--’

GABBY: ‘Well, to give you a final few seconds here--’

SUSAN: Why not the kill-switch now? I can’t believe Sheridan indulged this guy. And now the radio’s granting him voice.

GABBY: ‘--whether your interest has anything to do with the objective events of the past couple days. I mean, the show is subjective insofar as we talk about what’s on our minds; but we also ground our topics in what we can all agree is an objective set of realities.’

RAY: Nicely said, Gab.

GARY: ‘That the end of the spiritless world is near has nothing to do with sinkholes or strategies to fix them. The Church of Rapture has been asking about people’s spiritual fate forever--and maybe during moments like this people start asking on their own.’

GABBY: ‘Fair enough and far enough; we’ll let that be an open question.’

TROY: Hey, that’s what you said, Mrs Plumlee--

SUSAN: Not exactly.

RAY: And so, you can see that Gabby moves on and allows all points of view to have at least a little say--unlike Rush and other programs of that ilk. I think it’s important, Troy, to--wait; (reaching into his breast pocket for his phone and checking who’s calling) I gotta take this, sorry. (turning the radio down) Hi Jen--no, not too early…

SUSAN: Humph.

RAY: What? I didn’t catch that… yes… Ok, but why?... Well, I wouldn’t suggest that… No, at least… well, maybe then. But it doesn’t… just don’t bring this up to Harvey or Mary… because it’ll be an unnecessary debate--one I don’t want to have with you, either...

SUSAN: (self-conscious, turning to TROY) To close the open question, keep in mind Tammy’s a year-and-a-half younger than you--may not act like it, but she is. Be honest and good with her--nothing we wouldn’t trust,.. or, better said, we’ve trusted that so far.

TROY: (reflecting) Appreciate that. She’ll keep me honest too.

SUSAN: Yep, gotta work on these things. (nudging RAY to turn off at Hardin, which he does while still on the phone) So, just ring our house by around 4 to say if you’d like dinner with us, then Tam will communicate for us to pick you up.

TROY: That sounds great.

RAY: So Jen, leave it at that for now. I’ll be there in half an hour. Bye. (stopping in front of TROY’s house) There you go: door-to-door.

TROY: Thanks, Mr Plumlee, Mrs Plumlee. (getting out) See you later.

RAY: Bye. (driving back onto the interstate; noting SUSAN’s silence) What, something he said?

SUSAN: This ‘Jen’ better not cause trouble.

RAY: (thinking) You’re right. She better not. It’s about something Aaron told her over dinner.

SUSAN: What?

RAY: First responders--including Aaron--arrived to see Frank struggling, half-submerged. Simple rope could have got him, he told Jen. But an argument broke out on how close to the rim they could get, as it was crumbling in rapidly at the time, and in a precious minute lost, they didn’t get the rope to him on time.

SUSAN: And you don’t want your law partner to know this?

RAY: (shrugging that question off) Aaron actually cut out of work early--before an expected debrief--he was so pissed.

SUSAN: Didn’t seem to show it with us.

RAY: That’s why I want to ask him myself. I don’t know what he wants as a result.

SUSAN: (sighing) I suppose… another chance.

RAY: A handle on somebody’s fate?

SUSAN: Yeah, I guess that’s fair to say. (turning up ‘Gift of Gab’)


IViii: Drake & Plumlee. RAY enters, focused on his phone. MARY tacitly greets him while on her desk phone, clicking information into her computer. JENNIFER comes out of one room with a couple of file folders.

JENNIFER: Hey, Ray--giving some old biz to Harv; be with you in a minute.

RAY: (absently) Yeah, no hurry.

MARY: (hanging up her phone) Good thought for today--especially ‘no’ in front of ‘hurry’!

RAY: Morning, Mary--are we already mid-day deep?

MARY: It doesn’t matter. Especially after yesterday and your--I mean, we were, um, concerned and all.

RAY: Thanks, I needed a bunch o’ crutches and I got ’em. I hope Harvey relayed to you my phone call last night.

MARY: He did, of course. Said you might want to take some time off--

RAY: Yeah, but it doesn’t feel right. I can do that whenever--not when the city’s calling for our counsel.

MARY: We do have a lot of calls--I’m prioritizing them now, if you want to have a glance.

RAY: Yeah, share it and I’ll take a look in my office.

MARY: (as her phone rings again) Will do. (answering) Drake and Plumlee, how may we help you?

RAY: (quietly) ‘Problems we can solve!’--may have to let the air out of that motto… (he goes into his office, flips on his consul, sets down his phone to take off his jacket, open the blinds to consider the view from six stories up) Lucky to have this place…

JENNIFER: (entering) As long as it remains standing.

RAY: No joke there. Among a thousand other things to do today, we may have to consider our own evacuation contingencies.

JENNIFER: Harvey said essentially the same. A lot of media speculation about when the ‘real’ earthquake’s gonna hit.

RAY: I’d typically chalk that up as the stuff of B films, but Susan’s also speculating. These holes didn’t come from nothing.

JENNIFER: The update overnight is that the campsite hole has deepened and a house on Buena Vista is showing cracks.

RAY: Is that the road between Mystic and the campsite?

JENNIFER: Exactly; fitting a pattern, for better or worse.

RAY: The river acting any differently?

JENNIFER: Not on the surface, but I’ve heard a bevy of questions concerning why the holes are on the flat side in this particular bend, as if it’s tailor made to become a drain.

RAY: It is strange… and where all that flow would eventually go. I remember when I was at law school in Chicago, there was this accidental flood in the Loop area. Some barge in the river bonked into something it shouldn’t have, and within hours the basements and sewage systems for a lot of highrises were swamped.

JENNIFER: Did they have to evacuate?

RAY: Can’t remember--worth Googling, I guess. Or not: the city obviously didn’t sink, and I think the only casualties were the jobs of dupes, negligent or corrupt.

JENNIFER: That’s what Aaron was getting at--

RAY: Yeah, you implied so on the phone; I still don’t want to get into that right now. (turning to his screen and tapping to open MARY’s spreadsheet)

JENNIFER: Fine, but I think city operators are going to factor significantly into legal matters.

RAY: We’ll see. For now, help me sift through this list. Mary’s right to place Marguerite toward the top--that interview needs to result in a commitment. You want it? I think she’ll do better with you...

JENNIFER: Sure. Let’s keep that one discrete.

RAY: Spelled ‘e-e-t’ or ‘e-t-e’?

JENNIFER: The latter, I think: I mean distinct from other cases.

RAY: Why?

JENNIFER: Because any class action energy will consume us at the riverfront.

RAY: Assuming can get access to that front.

JENNIFER: That’s why it’s important to consider Aaron’s take.

RAY: Ok, but he’s not part of this screen and shouldn’t draw away from more manageable claims…. What’s this name next to Kimble Drive?

JENNIFER: I don’t know, but that road also happens to be near the campsite. I bet you we can go there and circle round to Buena Vista, do some door-to-door…

RAY: If the authorities let us. Let’s take this up with Harv--

JENNIFER: I’ll see if he can come in. (exits)

MARY: (peeking in) Just got a call I think you should take--still on the line.

RAY: Existing or new?

MARY: New, and near Walmart: a tumble of the statue outside North Gate Presbyterian.

RAY: Oh my God, give me that, and please stay on your end to jot down some notes. (clasping his hands above his head and shaking them before picking up the phone) Hello, this is attorney Raymond Plumlee, how may I help you?... Anyone hurt?... Have you called the police or any other city service?... I see. And how were you able to reference our firm?... Good, no--that’s perfectly fine. We appreciate the contact. Now, I need to know who else is on the scene or what kind of pictures are being taken, who’s been a witness--that sort of thing…. Why? Well, as you probably are aware, the city is pretty shaken by unusual occurrences lately, and I wouldn’t want your situation to be made more difficult for you....

HARVEY: (entering, and turning to JENNIFER right behind him) ‘more difficult’? Is he talking to the mother?

JENNIFER: Don’t know. She is on our agenda this morning--

RAY: (covering the speaking end of the phone) A statue collapsed at the Heights--North Gate church near Walmart--

HARVEY: Jesus!

RAY: Exactly. (uncovering the receiver to speak again to the caller) Yes, I think we’ll come out within the hour to set you up for the short- and long-term benefits you’d be entitled to. I’d ask that, until we can get there, you hunker down and not avail your concerns to anyone other than a city official, when they eventually come around…. Right. A call to the police needs to be your decision and I would, on the face of what you describe, advise you to do that…. Yes. Also on the face of what we’re talking about, our firm will be pleased to consider this case…. Yes…, of course. We have each other’s phone contacts; expect our visit shortly…. Good. Thanks, and see you soon… Bye. (hanging up)

HARVEY: That’s a quick ‘back in the saddle’, Ray. How are you holding up after yesterday?

RAY: Couldn’t be better, really. It’s fascinating--stunning and sad--to be in this mix right now--

JENNIFER: Is what you just took some sort of ‘smoking gun’?

HARVEY: Jennifer, we rarely used that term around here--

RAY: --we’ve rarely ventured into class action stuff. Harv, this could be huge: between the riverfront where all the risk is being assessed and the Heights where a freak accident has become ‘old news’, we could be in the catbird’s seat--

HARVEY: Definitely in the middle of it all. What do you think--should we coordinate with Ferrier & Sons to get the optimal coverage?

RAY: You know my answer already: you like doing business with them, and I’d rather represent each case the way we’ve best been able to manage--

HARVEY: But we haven’t done class actions well enough alone. We’re really too small for this kind of thing.

RAY: This kind of thing has never dawned on Montana--maybe nowhere within the Louisiana Purchase--before. We’re not a catastrophic zone if you take away tornados and lonely meth labs. We can lean on Ferrier eventually if the caseload bursts its banks, but frankly--I don’t know, Jen, if you thought the same thing I did yesterday--we can truly personalize the unfolding of events, more than others who’ll opportunistically swarm in. It’s the same with all the sudden paparazzi: we can back into that fray or be the difference that catches the consciousness of people a better way, respecting their stories as it pertains to them.

JENNIFER: It sounds like you want to...journalize the lot--

RAY: --I thought you were going to say ‘scrapbook’ as a verb…

JENNIFER: Well, no… I wasn’t thinking that. But by going there, we have to wonder who our audience might be, case by case, and how we might compete with media.

HARVEY: All this is not how I’ve been trained: I take a rather legalese mindset into everything we do, as you well know. We have tort and verification as our mandate--individually or, go figure, class action. That’s all I’m focused on.

RAY: I think all of our instincts are right. And, figuring we have now a north-south transept, we have to toss our force one way or both.

JENNIFER: A little while ago I thought we’d concentrate on the campsite--

RAY: And someone should still do that. But now we have a second instance at the Heights--

HARVEY: I think I get where this is going: let me handle what’s unfolding at the river--

JENNIFER: And I’ll do Marguerite and all the Walmart stuff.

RAY: As much as North Gate is probably related, geologically, let me handle that alone--I mean, I just got off the phone with the pastor there--

HARVEY: That leaves Mary here and just some interns--

RAY: And at this point maybe they should have the green light on shifting unrelated load to Ferrier. I feel we got the hubs where they’ve manifested and we can deal with each flashpoint as they happen…

JENNIFER: But you’re reacting to, what--this call from North Gate?

RAY: I am because it’s relevant to what we naturally take on--a small collapse--and also what we couldn’t have imagined: the rampage of the hypernatural…

HARVEY: ‘Rampage’ sounds too rough. I don’t know what we should advise toward the rhetoric that surrounds each case--and if I’m going to the riverfront, I’m not even sure I have a particular case to pursue--

JENNIFER: I think the campsite admin is the place to start…

RAY: Agreed: we don’t have anything directly on Mystic Park, even if I thought fifteen hours ago it would eat away half my family--

HARVEY: Is Susan involved with anything litigious?

RAY: Are you asking if we’d seek some compensation for the chaos around her interview?

HARVEY: I didn’t mean it to sound that way--it’s totally your private business, Ray. I just wanted to allow for what any of us require, professionally or personally.

RAY: You might run into her today at the riverfront--she’s going to be involved with analytics in one way or another. Hopefully you won’t happen upon Sheridan, who may be tempted to get into the media throng--

JENNIFER: --still swirling: like the drain we talked about…

HARVEY: I’ll keep an eye out. And ears open, too--that throng can point us to where we need to be.

JENNIFER: Safe ground?

RAY: Or further into this abyss.

HARVEY: Let’s give each other a call by early afternoon, yeah? (waving as he leaves)

RAY: Kind of reassuring--voices soaring high above the earth.

JENNIFER: Major Tom to Ground Control? (exiting with him)


IViv: at the nursing home. ELMER is sitting by himself, looking out the window of the activities room. BERENICE is at a table looking at him but too far away to converse. A lunch jingle rings and methodically the residents close their books or tuck their sudokus away. Some who don’t have walkers assist those who do. BERENICE, one of the former, still sits to see if ELMER will move on his own. DESERET, with her walker, shuffles into the room.

DESERET: (loudly enough for anyone to hear) Has anyone seen Lawrence? Lawrence in here?

BERENICE: No, dear, I haven’t seen him since breakfast--well, with you, too.

DESERET: (coming closer) Well, why are you sitting here, Berenice. Lunch now being served.

BERENICE: (rising and pointing toward ELMER) I’m waiting for him--he’s usually first in line.

DESERET: (calling over) Elmer, you seen Lawrence lately?

ELMER: (slowly turning, body before eyes) Just after breakfast.

DESERET: Then at the same time we did. Where did he vanish to all morning?

BERENICE: You checked his room?

DESERET: Not there, not in the exercise room--

ELMER: He’s outside somewhere. That’s why I’m perched here.

DESERET: What? You saw him out there? By himself?

BERENICE: It’s November--too cold to be outside.

ELMER: (sighing anxiously) I told him that, too.

DESERET: So you talked to him before he went outside?

ELMER: I did.

DESERET: When?

ELMER: About (checking his wristwatch) three hours ago.

BERENICE: Elmer, what? Did anyone else talk with him?

ELMER: Not that I know of. He had this phone call, he said, and buttoned up his coat to investigate.

DESERET: And you let him? Just let him walk out the door?

ELMER: Well, he’s not restricted, not that I know of. You an’ I could do the same thing--

DESERET: I’m not going anywhere, Elmer, and neither are you--regardless of restrictions. You told a staffer that he left, no?

ELMER: No.

DESERET: You’re supposed to say ‘yes, Deseret, I did tell somebody.’

ELMER: (deadpan, but still concerned) Yes, Deseret, I just told you.

BERENICE: Well, we should tell someone else. Where do you think he went?

ELMER: He didn’t specify, but when I asked about the phone call, he said it was his pastor.

DESERET: The one who’s come here a couple times--and now Lawrence is going there?

BERENICE: It’s not even Sunday.

ELMER: Hey, it’s none of our business. He doesn’t have to say where he’s going.

BERENICE: But he has to think of us, how we’d worry about him.

ELMER: Well, that’s what pastors are there to do. If it weren’t for that, maybe I’d be worried too.

DESERET: Elmer, you’re as worried as we are. I’m going to get a search posse going--

From the wide corridor that leads to the reception lobby, LAWRENCE walks by the open wall of the activity room with AARON at his elbow.

BERENICE: Speak of the devil.

DESERET: Lawrence Tolliver! You come over here right now, Mister.

ELMER: He looks to be in proper hands, Deseret.

DESERET: Don’t matter. (ensuring LAWRENCE hears) Got us worried sick--

LAWRENCE: (coming over) That can’t be true--just been out for a little while. Elmer, I clued you in.

ELMER: Well, more or less…. Have to admit I was a little worried an hour ago.

LAWRENCE: We’re all in our nineties; an hour or two can’t matter much.

BERENICE: Elmer said it was three. And, that’s November hours--

DESERET: How did you sneak past reception, Lawrence?

LAWRENCE: Didn’t have to. Used this very door to the courtyard and back gate.

DESERET: Because your pastor asked you to? And who’s this? A younger version of him?

AARON: (bowing his head a bit) I’m from the Billings Fire Department. Mr Tolliver and I were checking out an occurrence at North Gate Presbyterian.

BERENICE: What’s going on there? A fire?

AARON: No, but we were called in about some structural damage to an outdoor statue--

ELMER: That big one of Jesus, like they got in Brazil?

LAWRENCE: Yep--our local guardian. Minus one arm now from the tumble.

DESERET: Mercy! And your pastor telephoned you to… to do what?

LAWRENCE: To account for its history. I was on the church council there when we decided on it--before this pastor’s tenure; he remembered we discussed its instalment and wanted to know if there had been any hidden difficulties.

ELMER: Had there been?

LAWRENCE: Nope. Had to erect a construction crane, but then she settled in with no hesitation.

DESERET: She?

LAWRENCE: He. It…--a huge piece of granite.

BERENICE: Well, evidently more than that. We’re sorry, Lawrence, for this fall. (patting his arm) But how did it happen? You don’t think--

LAWRENCE: Well, that’s why I went. Not so far from Walmart, you know--

AARON: (clearing his throat) And that’s why I wanted to come back with Mr Tolliver here. There are many employees of the city and state and even the Army Corps of Engineers that are going block-by-block in Billings to ensure everybody’s safety.

DESERET: Are we in danger? Is this evidence of that earthquake threat we’ve been hearing about?

AARON: Not that I can see, but in due time there’ll be a suitable inspection. My time with Mr Tolliver here was more in the pleasure of conversation than anything else.

BERENICE: (now patting his arm) And for getting him back here safe ‘n sound, which we thank you for.

LAWRENCE: I’m not a cat that was stuck in a tree!

AARON: No, no--we still train for that kind of folklore, but...

DESERET: We also heard on the news about evacuations--

AARON: Hopefully you heard a ‘stay at home’ mandate, too.

DESERET: Besides here, I don’t have a home…

ELMER: I got grandkids all around the state, Deseret--some with nice guestrooms.

DESERET: That’s kind of you, Elmer. But what’s happening to our city? It’s like something is rising against us.

BERENICE: Rising? More like pulling us down.

AARON: It has been an unusual week. But having served a couple tours overseas, I know we’re not in any kind of war zone, even if sharp changes to the earth can feel just as devastating. Here in the Heights you may have a very different outlook than those in the floodplain--even your pastor mentioned that ‘house built on a rock’ sort of faith.

LAWRENCE: He’s still looked spooked about things--

AARON: We do what we can and, then (checking his pager)... It was nice meeting you folks--I’m being beeped to my next thing.

ELMER: Cat in a tree or something worse?

DESERET: Don’t delay him with lame jokes!

AARON: (pacing toward the exit, now on a walkie talkie) Cherry Island? That’s Lockwood jurisdiction! Ok, but I can’t drive beyond Two Moons--then what?

LAWRENCE: Two Moons? That’s our neck of the woods--

DESERET: You stay put this time--we’ll find everything out through the tv.

ELMER: Or, better yet, staring out the window.

BERENICE: But first we’re going for lunch.

LAWRENCE: Eat of the earth before it eats us.


Vi: at MSU, one day later. SUSAN stands on the dias of an overpacked lecture hall, SHERIDAN on the wing near a door that connects to the faculty lounge for the Department of Earth Sciences. SHERIDAN catches her mother’s eye and taps her watch, despite hearing SUSAN’s wrap-up cues:

SUSAN: My appreciation to grad students and TA’s here in this scheduled 301 course--we have attended somewhat today to the continuation of our studies of shale, but I appreciate the extra audience and questions that have come in light of the topical considerations of our local geology which, I’ll remind, is always undergoing changes, if usually indiscernible to the general polity. I’d ask that--

INTERCOM: ‘Attention, attention: it is now 2pm, the hour we announced earlier as a mandatory clear-out from campus classrooms. Dormitories, cafeterias and the Student Union will remain open until further notice. Be reminded that there is no immediate danger to our campus or the roadways of central Billings, but we must allow campus and city officials to conduct a grounds assessment. An advisory toward this end will be issued within 24 hours through this intercom system, email and phone messaging. Please clear out of classrooms and other facilities in an orderly fashion and either return to your dorms or your off-campus housing. Thank you for your cooperation, and stay tuned.’

SUSAN: (letting the buzz of the room have some necessary seconds) Indeed, we will stay tuned and, if I may underscore, be ‘orderly’ about our departure. I will--as all professors, presumably--communicate with students only following whatever advisory MSU administrators issue; I’ll ask that you respect this necessary protocol, as we cannot mix messages with what will need to be authoritative. This said, be assured you are in good hands and we will hopefully see each other sooner than later. Au revoir--’till we meet again, goodbye--God be ’ye and… I know the Crow don’t say ‘goodbye’ exactly, but… 

BARNEY: Kalatchí diiawákaawiik.

SUSAN: Yes--what Barney said! (waving to dismiss the students)

BARNEY: You should give it a try at least.

SUSAN: You’re right: ‘Kalatchi di-wa-d…’ I forgot--

BARNEY: You got the ‘again’ part in Kalatchi; now ‘diiawákaawiik’.

SUSAN: Kalatchí diiawákaawiik. And soon.

INEZ: I know you’re not supposed to say, Dr Plumlee, but (whispering) how soon?

SUSAN: Had I a crystal ball, I’d invite my best students for a consultation--

INEZ: Or, in Barney’s case, ‘most improved’?

BARNEY: Hey, I just taught the prof something--that should count!

SUSAN: It always does. And, to answer further off the record, if you can’t officially contact me on matters of concern, perhaps you have my daughter’s number. Not that she’s my spokesperson, but I think it’s fair to say--

INEZ: I do have her number, and I‘ll honor it--thank you for that, and (hugging her) everything.

BARNEY: (extending a handshake) Kalatchi..

SUSAN: (recalling) ...diiawákaawiik. (looking over to Sheridan, now joined with RAY, JENNIFER and AARON) I’m being summoned to the situation room--well, I shouldn’t be glib.

INEZ: A situation certainly exists. Glad you have a hand in helping out.

BARNEY: Like that guy at Mystic Park said, a ‘handle of our spiritual fate’.

INEZ: (tugging him away) Barn!

SUSAN: (going over to SHERIDAN) Your interview at Mystic was memorable, Clark Kent.

SHERIDAN: You mean ‘Lois Lane’, if I’m even that. But I did get permission to shadow Elizabeth Heron later this afternoon…

SUSAN: We’ll have to talk about that. (kissing RAY, greeting JENNIFER and AARON) I think our lounge is available, if we can make haste.

RAY: We can always regroup at the firm for privacy--

SUSAN: No, I’d rather be here, and I’ll put a note outside the door. Faculty are supposed to be leaving, too, though I’ve provided us a security clearance.

SHERIDAN: Not to mention, we have a bona fide Clark Kent with us--

SUSAN: Shush, if you’re referring to Aaron!

AARON: (not fulling hearing) Pardon? I missed that.

SUSAN: Nothing. Just contextualizing why we have clearance to stay while others have to exit.

RAY: No ‘captain goes down with the ship’ analogy, I hope--

SUSAN: I don’t know. Why do you craft that analogy?

AARON: Keeping it light, as needs be. But also the very reason we gotta meet.

SUSAN: (opening up the lounge and turning on the light) Agreed, let’s to it. I suppose it’s important to say we aren’t here on any outside mandate, but, in light of last night’s emails, I’m glad we can troubleshoot some things for everybody’s benefit.

JENNIFER: To add to that, I know that what we represent professionally cannot be totally left at the doorstep, so to speak, but that’s not why I chimed in--

RAY: Acknowledged. We’re not here for Drake & Plumlee casework. Harvey knows that, too.

AARON: Nor am I for here for BFA. Off-duty this time, for real.

SUSAN: And as you just heard, campus coursework is being suspended, so my paid leave began five minutes ago.

SHERIDAN: Seems like I’m the only one here who’s playing hookey, then!

SUSAN: And probably just for another day or two, as Bozeman is the better place to be. That said, if you are going to shadow CBS this afternoon--

RAY: What? Really?

SUSAN: --and the three of us’ll talk that over afterwards, it is worth our total knowing how media is working all the angles of what we know and what we don’t.

SHERIDAN: ‘Spin’, essentially: I’m tracking normative and outlier examples of the tactics of bias, mindful not to enable or progress any per se. For disclosure purposes, I’m not recording anything here as a point of future information--

AARON: Yes, you were crystalline on that point yesterday, and you got my full trust. On another level, you might be selling your own purpose short, as we may need a bit of spin in the right direction.

JENNIFER: I’d be cautious, though.

AARON: On personal involvement or policy influence?

JENNIFER: You know the heart attack you almost gave us--

AARON: --concerning?

JENNIFER: The hole at Cherry Island and volunteering to dive in.

SUSAN: Let’s start there, then. I promised some research and current data, and, as yet unpublished, this is what I’m finding. Richter scale measurements below 2.0 are not usually felt on the surface, and our campus seismograph recorded a 1.8 at 8:17am yesterday along a speculative fault running north-south of the eastern side of the city. Over the past eighty hours, data shows three other spikes of 1.6, 1.1, 1.3 in a diameter of 5 miles--the points of the city that we already know.

AARON: And does the fault have any relation to the river?

SUSAN: It’s a speculative prospect so far--earthquakes depend on faults, but this one has not been previously surveyed. The recent activity is serving as its introduction. As for the river, we have two areas there--Mystic and now Cherry--but also two at the heights, on the north end of that 5-mile line; a fault deep in the earth wouldn’t care as such where rivers run, where folks shop or worship or anything. On the other hand, sinkholes are more likely in alluvial zones, like a river basin.

RAY: Do these sinkholes ‘fill in the fault’, so to speak?

SUSAN: The surface material, what we call ‘regolith’, does not tend to descend very far, and again, fault slips can happen miles below the surface.

AARON: This is why I’m convinced we have a cavern system--perhaps connected--and the sinkholes are draining into them like a flour sifter. The new one at Cherry Island more like papier-mâché slurry.

SUSAN: Yes--describe that one more. You approached it from Two Moons Park?

AARON: We established a boom from the northern islet of Two Moons to the end of the tree line on the other side. Most of Cherry Island, as you know, is a sandy wash of driftwood, and we didn’t feel right putting a heavy vehicle on that. The whirlpool that caught some fisherman’s attention seemed to slide north and east, eventually into the bank, swallowing a couple dumptruck loads during the time I was there.

JENNIFER: So you were part of the diving crew trying to verify the size?

AARON: The size and why it was moving. I was tethered to the boom, of course, and scraped around the riverbed while others--also tethered, mind you--were taking samples from the east bank.

SUSAN: And those samples are… in whose hands?

AARON: I couldn’t smuggle any here, but maybe my boss will send them when they realize they could use your better analytics.

SUSAN: They probably won’t mean much unless they were catalogued specifically--placement timestamp, relation to surface, extraction method--things like that.

AARON: I don’t think that was happening--they really should have called in someone like you.

RAY: No, let’s not go down that path again, tether or no tether.

SUSAN: And on that point, I don’t know the strength of your cable system, but the suck of a whirlpool can crush an anchored object--

JENNIFER: --the object being your body, Buster. Why were you flirting with such danger?

AARON: It’s my job and--due respect to trained divers--we’re instinctively aware of points of no return and how to be on this side of those risks. Pulling me from Mystic Park is a proper case-in-point.

JENNIFER: But you still said last night you were considering going in…

AARON: By this morning, as I predicted, the site is no longer a whirlpool but a waterfall like you’d see going into a street curb drain.

SUSAN: How large?

AARON: Oh, I dunno, size of a rowboat or so?

SHERIDAN: I have a picture here.

RAY: How did you get that?

SHERIDAN: Filtered through a lot of shares, hashtag ‘CherryIsland’.

SUSAN: Most adults, let alone youth, wouldn’t have an idea where that was.

SHERIDAN: Or hashtag ‘Billings’ with any number of doomlike terms.

AARON: Images really getting out there? Security is pretty tight, and when I left there was a tarp over the spillway--

SUSAN: Don’t know if that’s the best idea; aerial surveillance will be compromised.

SHERIDAN: As for leaks, no pun intended, there’s already a--what’d you call it--a slurry of info or speculation framed in the confidence of eye-witness. Just like at Mystic, there are plenty of accounts of how that warden died.

AARON: Hmmph--my own role in that too, I bet.

SHERIDAN: Well, you’re getting some buzz, even from yesterday.

RAY: People are trying to put a story together--

SHERIDAN: Rightly or wrongly--mostly the latter. I don’t mean to distract with this stuff, though. Forget I interrupted.

AARON: On the contrary, I’m damn glad someone is on the various public awareness issues. BFD does a fair job with immediate and pre-emptive education, but there’s a gag-rule in place as of yesterday.

RAY: That you’re breaking by talking with us?

AARON: Not in my conscience, no. But--as we assured before this meeting--we’re trying to crack this nut where maybe others aren’t, a ‘time is of the essence’ kind of thing, and if that gets me promoted or fired, I don’t really care.

JENNIFER: Agreed, but we do care about other risks.

AARON: Your point’s abundantly clear. I promise you’ll be in my head next one that comes up.

SUSAN: You don’t want to go into that river fissure anyway. If it were a closed cavern it would fill up like a cistern and there’d be more stable circumstances to explore it. My guess, though, is that the water is channeling through the gravelly floodplain and finding gradual release upriver. I’d like to see Huntley stats on volume-per-second compared to Lockwood’s, because that would be a telling indicator.

RAY: Maybe Sher can find that out, hmm?

SHERIDAN: What’s trending is rarely what’s technically relevant. Who besides Mom and her ilk would be tracking river volume?

SUSAN: Plenty would, beyond my ‘ilk’. Just that their publishing tendencies would necessarily be buried in passwords and jargon. I mean, there are plenty of apps to climatic data and forecasts, but that’s quite different than geological measures.

SHERIDAN: Still, I’ll keep an eye open for what might exist.

RAY: Trending or otherwise. By the way, where exactly will your CBS thing take place--at the KTVQ studio?

SUSAN: I said we could take that up afterwards--

SHERIDAN: Elizabeth Heron texted me that she’d like to pre-record from North Gate Presbyterian, then maybe go live somewhere else.

RAY: Not Two Moons, I hope.

AARON: They got that place pretty well watched.

SHERIDAN: Keith Babcock-proof?

AARON: You always got some gawkers that push the envelope. But that has never been our experience with Ms Heron. Her choice at North Gate, for instance, seems pretty measured. She won’t have much ‘news’ to report, but the optics of a one-armed Jesus lying on his face may be story enough.

SHERIDAN: You found him that way?

AARON: First responder. Well, second, after your dad.

RAY: I forgot that he was face-down.

JENNIFER: Looking into the earth, maybe.

SUSAN: Or away from the non-stewards of it.

SHERIDAN: Holy smokes, it’s that Gary guy all over again!

AARON: Huh?

SUSAN: Nothing. Church of Rapture trolling, sorta like the rest of the world. Let’s get back to the germane, maybe talk through the whys and wherefores of evacuation instead of merely reacting to the city or state.

AARON: Will you have access to this place beyond this afternoon?

SUSAN: As long as I can, though I’m as captive to traffic patterns as anyone else. A good chunk of data I can access from home, if I’d be pacing like a zoo panther there.

AARON: It’s nice being here, unwatched, a stone’s throw from everything.

JENNIFER: And Perkins down the road.

AARON: (smiling) To feed the hope that Billings life goes on.


Vii: outside Walmart, one week later. RAY and JENNIFER sit in the still running Ford Fusion, strategizing on the sense of this visit. The parking lot is full and a quarter of the city, it seems, has come out for a clearance sale, bannered in huge letters across the storefront. Below this sign are two much smaller ones held by MARGUERITE and propped into a wheelchair where MAX sits, both suited up against the cold wind and occasional flurries.

RAY: I can see ‘BOYCOTT MALWART’--as blunt as can be--but I don’t have my glasses to read Max’s. Can you?

JENNIFER: Not really. I think it’s meant to introduce pedestrians to his story: “My name is Max. I’m here today…’ and then the print gets smaller.

RAY: What do you think she wants out of this?

JENNIFER: Depends on what you mean by ‘this’.

RAY: This… display. You had her commit to a low-profile, don’t-talk-to-media set of circumstances, didn’t you?

JENNIFER: Of course we talked about that, but as you know it isn’t written in our quote, and that’s all she signed so far. When she called this morning that she was not going to miss this clearance sale, what was I supposed to do?

RAY: Tell her not to go.

JENNIFER: I told her it wouldn’t be wise--there’d be media present, invariably. She said, ‘it’s a free country for them. Why not for me?’

RAY: You think she talked this over with anyone else? Keith Babcock, for instance?

JENNIFER: I asked her that, too, and she said she only wanted to talk ‘with common folks, to open their eyes’... I wanted to keep her in confidence, so I said we’d come down for…

RAY: For what?

JENNIFER: ...a little moral support. Don’t frown--I understand that isn’t very accurate. But she said she’d have Max here, too, and… well, I think we need to treat this with kid gloves, so to speak.

RAY: (sighing and turning off the engine) Jesus…

JENNIFER: Oh, he’s up the road--back on his feet, I think…. Lending the neighborhood a hand… That was a joke…

RAY: (opening the car door) Inspiration enough. Let’s face this farce.

JENNIFER: (walking beside him) You know, she is aware that evidence of an earthquake degrades her potential pay-off. I don’t know whom she heard that from.

RAY: Probably from their attorneys. They’ll compensate some basics for Max, hitch up the wagons and bolt outta here. Let the earth do its worst thereafter.

JENNIFER: Look, she’s getting a nice hug from that employee. Maybe we should wait?

RAY: Hell, no--it’s too cold just to stand around, and for all she knows, I might just wanna get bargain basement prices on the crap she’s boycotting.

JENNIFER: Ray, be nice.

MARGUERITE: (to JERILYN, coatless) You are the kindest person! I don’t want you to take my little protest personally--

JERILYN: I’m glad you’re back in the swing of things. And Max! You haven’t met me yet--I’m Jerilyn (extending a hand, which MAX reluctantly shakes). Your Mom was the captain of our rescue crew--

MAX: (skeptical) No, it was the man who died. He was the captain.

JERILYN: Randy? You heard about him? Well, he was more than a captain. One of my best friends--

MARGUERITE: Max, you shouldn’t--

JERILYN: No, it’s alright. I’m proud of what he did.

MAX: Like my daddy.

JERILYN: (looking up to MARGUERITE, who covers her face with one hand) Umm, yeah… He’s like a daddy. (noticing JENNIFER and RAY) I gotta go back inside now, but I’m so glad you’re out of the hospital. And in this hot-rod chair, Boy--you’re gonna go places! Bye-bye, now. (squeezing MARGUERITE’s other hand)

MARGUERITE: (almost inaudible) Thank you. You’re the kindest.

JENNIFER: (approaching) Hello, Marguerite.

MARGUERITE: (wiping her eyes) So you followed through on your threat to see me out here.

JENNIFER: Never a threat. We are your advocates—literally, as the job description has it.

RAY: Hello, Max. I’m Ray.

MAX: Are you married to this lady?

JENNIFER: Did you forget my name, Max? I know it’s been a week, but at the hospital we played a couple rounds of tic-tac-toe, remember?

MAX: Yes. But who’s this guy?

JENNIFER: This is Ray, also working to help your Mom pay for the hospital and things like this nice wheelchair.

MAX: It’s not so nice. I wanna walk around.

MARGUERITE: Not until the doctors say so, Honey. But I wonder if you’d like to show Ms Barton how you peddle it with your arms. Could you do that, Max? (looking at JENNIFER)

JENNIFER: Yeah, I’d like to know... how you turn and stop and back up. Would you show me that, Max?

MAX: With this sign?

MARGUERITE: You can leave that here for now. Just a couple minutes, okay?

JENNIFER: (half-pushing as MAX grunts to a start) As long as you’d like; just give us a wave.

RAY: He’s a great kid.

MARGUERITE: Now I know you two are working as a team, but I’ll be honest: I trust her--even symbolically as she’s taking my baby away--and not so much you.

RAY: I appreciate the candor. I trust her, too. And I trust myself--I wasn’t simply giving Max a child-friendly line when I said we want to help you pay for things.

MARGUERITE: Hospital bills? And when he’s a teen-ager who’s beside himself that the corporate world swallowed him up and spit him out, at the expense of Captain Randy?

RAY: I think you’re describing ‘emotional damages’, which we have a very good track record of procuring.

MARGUERITE: Did you hear him asking about his father? Did you? Have you factored that in?

RAY: We’re here to advocate for your family’s total well-being, Marguerite. Jennifer was right to use that term. We’re also called counsellors of the law, and, with your cooperation, we’d like to advise what’s optimal for you and warn what may hold you back.

MARGUERITE: Like this boycott, you’re gonna say.

RAY: Perhaps like this boycott. Though, heart of hearts, I like your courage in doing so. If it weren’t for my knowledge of how Walmart lawyers would exploit your efforts, I’d totally buy into your stance.

MARGUERITE: You ’fraid of them?

RAY: Walmart lawyers? Not a whit. But I do know that they pounce on technicalities, like whether or not you have a permit to protest, or how much Max is of age to determine his own role in this exercise.

MARGUERITE: Free country. Max made that sign himself. Those are his own spelling errors.

RAY: Again, as a fellow parent raising kids to be upright, I agree with your ethics. The law sometimes doesn’t synch with that kind of instinct, though.

MARGUERITE: I hear you, (waving at JENNIFER) but still like talking to her better. No offense.

RAY: None taken--that’s fair enough. I must say, though, still as a counselor, I see another employee walking behind you and he doesn’t look as kind as the one a couple minutes ago.

MARGUERITE: (turning around) No, he’s no friend nor enemy neither. He’s just remindin’ me of the obvious.

CURT: (grim, if polite) Yeah, I guess I’m Mr Obvious, but I’d appreciate if you’d comply this time. It may not occur to you that my job demands I do this--

MARGUERITE: Do what, Mister middle-manager?

CURT: Remind you that solicitation of a cause on the store’s property, which includes the lease of the parking lot, requires a permit authorized by management--and yes, I may be ‘middle’ in that arrangement, but I’m just as bound to the policy as you are.

MARGUERITE: And s’posing I boycott that policy? You thought I was jus’ referring to your sad-ass product line, but what if I’m boycotting your whole presence in our town?

CURT: Then you might do that outside our property, though I think you’d need a city permit anyway. Is this your lawyer? I assume he’d--

RAY: Not necessarily. But I have a very good sense of memory and a citizen’s curiosity.

MARGUERITE: So, you gonna end this hour again with ‘I don’t want to have to call the police’?

CURT: No, seeing as we have a curious citizen here who takes mental notes, I’m going to say ‘I will have to call the police’ after this, your third refusal to comply.

MARGUERITE: (yelling at his retreat to the store) Three strikes I’m out, huh? America’s pastime!

KEITH: (approaching from their blind side) Bingo! It’s the 7th-inning stretch!

RAY: Oh, for crying out--

MARGUERITE: You better not try to harass me like you did at St Vincent’s--

KEITH: I was trying to get your story out in a much more efficient way than this charade you’re putting on.

MARGUERITE: Insults aren’t going to get you nowhere. Now leave me alone!

KEITH: Fine irony--making yourself a public spectacle and wanting to be left alone.

MARGUERITE: (lunging at him, restrained by RAY) You Murdock cuck, I’m going to--

RAY: (whispering assertively) He’s sure to have a hot-mic; don’t do this, Marguerite!

KEITH: ‘going to’--what, exactly?

JENNIFER: (hastily locking in MAX’s chair to run the remaining yards) I’m going to do this interview, with your permission? (establishing eye-contact with MARGUERITE, who nods with relief) But not in the visible or audible presence of the child.

KEITH: Who says I want to interview you?

JENNIFER: (swishing her hands behind her to signal RAY to escort the others away) I do. And you know you also want to probe what I have to say.

KEITH: Not necessarily.

JENNIFER: (speaking closely and quietly, with deliberate pronunciation) Then--as you may or may not know the law--you risk malfeasance concerning our request to honor the privacy of the minor involved, let alone the repeated claims of harassment from this woman who has witness accounts from the hospital staff.

KEITH: (considering, looking over her shoulder at his departing focus) Where, then, do you want to meet?

JENNIFER: (also considering, buying a little time) I’d say ‘hell’, but why not Walmart’s styrofoam café, since we’re already here.

KEITH: You’re a tough cookie. (walking toward the store)

JENNIFER: (matching his pace) More like a tart?


Viii: Mystic Park, one month later. A crowd surrounds the original sinkhole, newly reinforced with steel pylons and a concrete wall funneling deeper than before. A staircase spirals 360 degrees from the snow-blanketed park to a platform leading to a double-door entrance into the cavern that the city is, to some extent, inaugurating. ELIZABETH HERON sets up her live broadcast, lining up SUSAN and AARON as interviewees.

ELIZABETH: Thank you again for agreeing to do this on such short notice.

SUSAN: I’m obliged to be here anyway--been studying the results of this discovery like crazy.

ELIZABETH: Strange to think this thing seemed so monstrous, and a couple weeks later it’s being celebrated.

AARON: I won’t put a damper on that, necessarily, but there are still a lot of stones unturned, to use a handy idiom.

ELIZABETH: Will you want to address any examples of those on the air?

AARON: Like the fact that no one has recovered the park warden’s body?

ELIZABETH: (sucking in with recall) That’s a rather stark ‘for instance’. Are you positive?

AARON: I’m positive I haven’t been told of any such recovery, and, having been down there a dozen times, I’d be in the circle of those who’d should know.

ELIZABETH: Any theories on that? How far does the cavern extend?

SUSAN: I’ve only been inside twice in the past three days, after a battery of stability tests and the establishment of surface vents--you can see several in the funnel itself and around the park area, a couple at the campground, and a few that are undisclosed. So air circulation extends at least a half-mile. The cavern itself is about the shape and size of a basketball fieldhouse. The ceiling--which tops at about thirty feet below that platform--is relatively smooth, enabling the most remarkable echoes, and dozens of crevices about a foot or two wide stretch further into the limestone from the sides. Engineers linked ventilation to some of them, but so far we haven’t been able to map how deep they go, or whether they connect to other caverns or caves.

ELIZABETH: Could those crevices be navigated?

AARON: Do you mean, could Frank have walked them to find a way out?

ELIZABETH: I… didn’t mean…

AARON: We’ve sorted through as much rubble as we could get to and… I’ll leave it at that.

ELIZABETH: Is there water down there?

SUSAN: Not flowing, but it’s damp in spots. Engineers pressure washed the walls to test for soft spots, and all that runoff went clear down the fissures of what we’re calling the ‘floor’. We don’t know the drainage capacity--something we’re keeping an eye on.

ELIZABETH: I should have gotten all this on tape--I don’t want you to get bored with a repeat, if necessary.

AARON: No, that won’t happen, but I might get a bit unhinged about this whole ecotourism idea, if you’re planning to ask about that.

ELIZABETH: As a matter of fact, that’s… one, two, three--fourth on my list. Should it be earlier?

AARON: You want to see me unhinge?

ELIZABETH: (smiling uneasily) Of course not. I can imagine it’s a sensitive topic.

AARON: Senseless, IMHO. Most of the funding that has gone into this so far--and you can see it’s been substantial and lightning quick--is ransom for the chance to make it a tourist trap.

SUSAN: (jumping in) I don’t disagree with that concern, and I think it needs its due diplomacy. The Chamber of Commerce has been pretty assertive on this idea, expediting a lot of the safety checks that really do cost a fortune. My problem, shared by most of my colleagues, is that more research grants have to predicate the public access, assuming the public should ever have access in the first place.

ELIZABETH: Do you feel the sinkhole scare faded away too fast?

SUSAN: (looking to AARON, who shrugs his shoulders) It was the newest, latest, most intriguing thing to tap into… Kind of like the occasion today, if the color of the mood ring has changed…

They continue to talk while being fitted for microphones. An intern brings them half-full paper cups of coffee and indicates five minutes ’til airtime. A number of happy people shout their well-wishes for this broadcast, received with various nods and shuffles. ELIZABETH pantomimes how chilly it’s become since sunset.

Meanwhile, at the nursing home, the television is tuned to KTVQ. A couple new puzzles are in progress. ELMER’s is almost all black and white with a scatter of sheet music--apparently ‘The William Tell Overture’ by the evidence of a vibrantly red apple pierced perfectly by an arrow, a sort of still life paper weight; DESERET has finished the frame of Pieter the Elder’s ‘Census at Bethlehem’, inviting greater interest from LAWRENCE and BERENICE.

BERENICE: You always have a good sense of the season, Des.

DESERET: Coincidence, probably. I just like this guy’s paintings. Remember the one I did last year?

BERENICE: Umm…, something set in autumn, right?

DESERET: Spring, more likely: ‘Landscape with the Fall of Icarus’.

BERENICE: Oh yes, that was.., well, I was going to say ‘nice’.

DESERET: Ninety-plus percent nice; Icarus is always the fly in the ointment. Say, how’s your puzzle doin’, Elmer?

ELMER: (searching for bits of arrowhead) Not as seasonal as yours, I’m sure.

BERENICE: Now, now--yours is interesting, too. Chaikovsky is also Christmasy.

ELMER: Coincidence, probably.

LAWRENCE: (pointing to the screen) Hey, would you take a gander at this: the CBS lady is reporting from Mystic Park. Who would have thunk it? Back to the scene of…of--

ELMER: --the crime?

DESERET: That day was fraught with all sorts of fright.

BERENICE: My, the place has really changed--are you sure it’s Mystic Park?

LAWRENCE: The footer there says so. Let’s listen:

ELIZABETH: ‘--the Chamber of Commerce and scores of contractors have worked around the clock since Thanksgiving to unveil this project that has, as the mayor characterizes it, “turned lemons into lemonade”.’

ELMER: What the hell’s she talking about?

DESERET: Sshh.

ELIZABETH: ‘--sinkhole here, and it is important to note that only this area is part of the Chamber of Commerce project, now officially named “The Mystic Park Cavern” for eventual visitation.’

LAWRENCE: ‘Visitation’--that’s a curious choice of word.

ELIZABETH: ‘I have with me Dr Susan Plumlee from MSU Billings--welcome back, Professor, under happier circumstances! Another expression that came out of the mayor’s office today is that this accomplishment--securing the safety of a hitherto unknown cavern--is like a Christmas present to the people of the city and state. Would you agree?’

SUSAN: ‘I think there is some merit to the upbeat mood, but the public will not be able to access the cavern for the foreseeable future--I’d be reluctant to put any timeline on that, though I know rumors confuse the important message that we still must be vigilant about the altered lithology in this area.’

ELIZABETH: ‘I take it you’re not so high on the holiday deadline. Is the lemonade analogy more to your liking?’

SUSAN: ‘Lemons are always a good thing--I don’t think the sugar water makes them better. To consider sinkholes and earthquakes “sour”, well… I’m a geologist; I’d be more inclined to consider pollution or harmful use of the earth as--well, worse than “sour”. With all due respect, I’m not inclined to interpret the mayor’s statements.’

ELIZABETH: ‘Fair enough. We’ve heard that you have, as a geologist, been able to inspect the cavern?’

SUSAN: ‘Yes, as part of a team from the university and in cooperation with city safety experts and the Army Corps of Engineers, primarily.’

ELIZABETH: ‘And? Your assessment?’

SUSAN: ‘For the purposes of where we’re at, even being able to stand upon this reinforced ground that leads into the cavern, I’m impressed with the work and still keenly intent that further research steps up, especially on the unexplored network that extends from the cavern itself.’

ELIZABETH: ‘Much of the exploration so far--even in the discovery of the aperture below the original sinkhole--has depended on the brave experience of Aaron Tomlinson from the Billings Fire Department.’

DESERET: Hey, Larry--that’s your guy!

LAWRENCE: I’ll be. So it is.

AARON: ‘--a first-responder in uniform is trained for any eventuality, and “bravery” sort of sounds, well--”sour”, to beat that term into the ground.’

ELIZABETH: ‘Pun intended, I’m sure. You’ve been adamant about reinforcing protocols toward public safety--educating the public well before we ever feared for our footing--and could you update your sense of the public’s response?’

AARON: ‘Yeah, for sure. The vast amount of civilians are helping us a ton by just staying well away from zones we’ve designated unsafe. Still, as we speak, Two Moons Park and the Cherry Island bend of Lockwood are strictly off limits and, as much as a ceremony is set to happen here, this is still an exclusion zone on even federal grounds of prosecution.’

ELIZABETH: ‘Reminding our viewers, we are part of a delegation sanctioned to be here tonight--’

AARON: ‘It’s a ceremony--an acknowledgement of what the officials have been doing to the site and, as far as I’m concerned, a reiteration that it’s off-limits otherwise.’

ELIZABETH: ‘That said--and I’ll put on my helmet here as you have yours and the professor hers--’

SUSAN: ‘And the camera crew theirs.’

ELIZABETH: ‘Indeed--we have been granted a sneak peak that KTVQ is very appreciative of and, personally, I wanted to thank you for your efforts in guiding us this evening.’

AARON: ‘It’s just for a few minutes--we’re taking no chances on any lightness of breath even if we have a supply of oxygen tanks down there if needed. There is a stairway inside that swirls similar to this one outside in the funnel, but we’ll still click a carabiner on anyone who goes in. And the light on your helmet stays on at all times.’

BERENICE: Golly, are they really going down into that pit? On a December evening?

LAWRENCE: Looks like they are.

ELMER: Looks kinda gimmicky to me. Like they’re opening up Al Capone’s safe thinking it’s another Tutankhamen…

DESERET: You’re pretty attached to that example.

ELMER: Al Capone’s safe?

DESERET: No, the pharaoh’s tomb that cursed those that messed with it.

ELMER: Mostly a hoax. Probably along the same lines as these sinkholes, when all is said and done.

LAWRENCE: Well, the tumble of the North Gate statue of Jesus wasn’t a hoax--this firefighter on tv was there to prove it. Granted, for a while he and the pastor speculated on whether it was vandalism--somebody pulling a prank just to get in on all the hoopla about our shaky bedrock; but he’s seen a lot in his days and knew something was up beyond human orchestration.

DESERET: (picking up the cover of the puzzle box) You know, these folks that I’m looking to piece together all bank on the earth as it is, yet carve it as they desire.

ELMER: What’s your point?

AARON: ‘This where we tether our safety belts to the cable that parallels the stairs to the cavern floor. Yes… like that. And if we go a bit further down to this platform here… slowly--the limited lighting takes some acclimation.’

ELIZABETH: ‘My goodness, it’s… another world down here! Bigger than the basketball arena you described--’

AARON: ‘No, it’s about that--some 230 feet to the point directly across from us and 135 perpendicular. The height is 94 feet at its max, not counting the various crevices that descend to--well, we don’t know how far in many cases.’

ELIZABETH: ‘Voices resonate so incredibly here--may I hoot something?’

AARON: ‘Your show--go ahead!’

ELIZABETH: ‘What should I say? Echo! Magnifico! “Each word gets lost in the echo!”--oh my God, this is addictive! What causes the sound to ripple so beautifully? What kind of stone does this?’

SUSAN: ‘In this circumstances of this cavern, the limestone and shale mix are rather smooth, and the curvature is ideal for what you’re experiencing. Sound is travelling through the crevices, but some of that returns to give the original sound a “second wind”, so to speak.’

ELIZABETH: ‘The Chamber of Commerce has high hopes for this place, but I can’t imagine they dreamed of the cathedral effect--I mean, imagine a concerto or madrigal chorus down here--’

AARON: ‘Imagine also the many questions that remain--about drainage, ventilation--’

ELIZABETH: ‘Did I just hear a ringtone? Can a signal delve this far--’

SUSAN: ‘I wouldn’t think so, but--I apologize--that’s mine and I’ll turn it off--’

ELIZABETH: ‘On the contrary, if you don’t mind! It’s fascinating to think we have cell phone contact from this… womb in the world.’

SUSAN: ‘It’s my daughter, Sheridan--you met her the very day this place was, well, inhospitable.’

ELIZABETH: ‘Of course--and fitting. I assure our audience we did not script this coverage and, in fact, we wouldn’t have had the imagination to do so. I mean…’

SUSAN: ‘Hey, Sher--I assume you know where I am right now.’

ELIZABETH: ‘Can you put her on speaker? Would she mind?’

SUSAN: ‘Care to talk with CBS, Sher?... Great--’

AARON: ‘But please be brief. I don’t mean to be a buzz kill--’

BERENICE: I think the news has become something else.

LAWRENCE: Shall I turn it off?

DESERET: No. If nothing else, it’s harmless background noise.

ELMER: While we mindlessly do our puzzles.

SHERIDAN: ‘Yes, I can hear the echoes--clear, and at the same time falling into each other like countless conversations bouncing off of satellites and finding just the right people to signal their voices back. And so much more in these recent weeks to converse about, it’s... and wh-… -es for the…--’

SUSAN: ‘The connection seems to be breaking up--can you hear me?... I can’t-- Say, if you can hear, I’ll call again from the surface.’

AARON: ‘Just as well--we’re beyond our limit.’

ELIZABETH: ‘A minute more? We might try to let the audience take in the sublime silence as a parting gift.’

AARON: ‘A minute more. Maybe to remember Frank and Randy.’


Viv: Benteen, one year later. The Plumlee family, including PENNIES, are in the Ford Fusion backing out of their garage. The top-of-the-hour news is on the radio.

CAM: Dad, can you turn it down--Pennies is distressed enough already.

RAY: Ok, but Gab’s on in a minute. (turning to the dog) Don’t worry, Bud--just a vet check.

SUSAN: (turning her cried-out eyes away) To diagnose cancer.

RAY: (softly) C’mon, Sue, we don’t know that. Pennies is getting old; limps happen for all sorts of reasons. I’ll be with him the whole time…

SUSAN: After the appointment?

RAY: I brought his blanket to curl up in my office. He’ll feel like he’s on vacation.

TAMMY: I’m going to skip basketball tonight.

CAM: To see Troy on tv? Trade your season for his?

TAMMY: More to be with Pennies, but… yeah, to see Troy’s biggest game yet.

RAY: I can TiVo it. I agree with Cam--you don’t want to compromise your own play. And Pennies will be happy to see you in the swing of routines, especially today.

TAMMY: (looking into the dog’s eyes for a second opinion) I’ll think about it.

RAY: Good. As for routines-- (turning the radio up a bit)

‘And you really wouldn’t have it if you wanted to
but as long as you’re doing what you gotta do
on the freeway---you’re ok’

GABBY: ‘And you’re more than ok for tuning in--keeping your eyes on the road and hands clear.’

SUSAN: She’s gabbing earlier this morning. That’s not routine..

GABBY: ‘Got lots on our plate and a guest on the phone, so you’ll pardon our diving right in. We could talk all else that’s topical--impeachment proceedings, holiday greetings, all that stuff--in the second half-hour. But first we’ll address our home-grown, ongoing story of the Mystic Park Cavern. I’m privileged to be joined on the line with first-responder Aaron Tomlinson, who can fill--’

RAY: I’ll be doggoned. Wonder if Jen’s listening.

AARON: ‘Thanks, Gabby. I appreciate your show and always a chance to advance public awareness. As many of your listeners know, the cavern opened to tourism in May and was supposed to close in October, natural to weather patterns at many state-run recreational facilities.’

GABBY: ‘Why is it open, then, in December?’

AARON: ‘Greed, maybe. I know I’ll get in hot water for this, but 155,000 visitors by October exceeded expectations, and the demand pushed for drainage upgrades and the chance to keep visitors coming year-round.’

GABBY: ‘And then we come to yesterday. Our listeners may not be aware of this news, so--some forewarning--it’s sensitive and fluid.’

AARON: ‘Most certainly it is: Billings FD and officials are taking a cautious route here in terms of what we’ll can or cannot say. Yesterday morning a group of twenty adults went into the cavern, tethered up to the cable and all things procedural. As their scheduled time ended, only nineteen came out; a search immediately ensued--we were called in an hour later--and as yet no progress to report.’

RAY: Good God!

SUSAN: Hope Jen isn’t listening. Don’t ring her--hands-on-the-wheel rule!

GABBY: ‘--understand you aren’t yet revealing the identity of the individual, pending, what? contact with his--or her?--family.’

AARON: ‘Happens to be a “her”, approximately 30-40 years of age. We can’t really say more except that the nineteen others in her group did not claim to know her before their tour.’

GABBY: ‘Or talk with her during?’

AARON: ‘That I can’t say. But we do have some anecdotal evidence that, well, is sketchy to say the least. At the interpretive center above the funnel, there is a guest book that some visitors sign upon their exit, usually. It’s in the gift shop area, though, so even those who haven’t been in the cavern could leave a message. And perhaps our missing person did just that.’

GABBY: ‘How? What’s written there?’

CAM: This is creepy, Dad--voyeuristic.

RAY: But from a trusted friend.

CAM: (mumbling) But going public. Trust that!

AARON: ‘--and again, this is sketchy and potentially spurious, but… something at this point that we have to factor. The note is dated yesterday, the last entry in the book--needless to say, the nineteen others did not get a chance to sign that book, as they were being questioned and, along with everyone else in the facility, escorted out. The note is unsigned and simply says, in clean cursive: “Going in to find Frank McCallister and end the echoes in his ears.”’

GABBY: (unusually silent) ‘...That’s… moving. And nothing else?’

AARON: ‘Of course we’re looking for anything--any leads or motives or verification of her identity--that’s why I’m at some liberty to speak on your program.’

TAMMY: Mom, do you think she hiding? Wouldn’t they be able to find her right away?

SUSAN: (turning down the radio a bit) I don’t know, Honey.

TAMMY: But you’ve been there! You know what is or isn’t possible.

SUSAN: Less so than Aaron, and I’m sure he’s led a thorough search. Funny thing is--

CAM: Funny? What can be funny about this?

RAY: Just an expression. You know that--

SUSAN: --no, she’s right. We need modern wordsmiths. Philologists. Alter-egos to the prevailing, know-it-all STEMs out there...

TAMMY: Yada, yada--get back to what you were going to say: ‘funny thing is’...what?

SUSAN: (looking out the window again) Ironically, the department and BFD had hotly debated the issue of human access to various crevices.

RAY: You mean--the right to access?

SUSAN: There were so many layers to the debate. Visitor access had to have strict parameters, naturally. Engineers and security had to have unlimited access--predicated on communication and common sense. The cavern itself had to have whatever those unruly stretches offered in terms of ventilation and drainage. Putting jail-style bars on some made instant sense; some even suggested fencing in the center area like a circus ring--

RAY: --so the visitors would be the tigers and lions jumping through hoops of fire?

SUSAN: As you can imagine, that was kiboshed. The carabiner on the cable idea was most endorsed--but that meant every visitor would have to stay in single file, even beyond the stairs. By July that stipulation loosened up. Tourists reasonably wanted to test their voices in spontaneous spots, independently. The tagline to the place, after all, became ‘experience the echo chamber’, and the guides could only regulate that for a portion of each tour. Five minutes ‘free range’ evolved toward the end of each group’s allotted time, and I suspect this woman slipped away then.

TAMMY: All I wanted to ask was whether you thought she was hiding or genuinely lost.

SUSAN: Both could be the case. Both are troubling.

RAY: Her note suggests neither.

CAM: We don’t know it’s hers--even the guy said it might be spurious. I don’t even like that he floated it out there, rather recklessly, like it’s supposed to help a rescue she may not even want.

RAY: Aaron needed to do that, Cam. The message--spurious or not--already invited public consideration, and the circumstances of a missing person--

SUSAN: Two, if we count Frank…

RAY: --missing persons amplify the message, even before radio waves do their work. She wanted her voice to resonate beyond her very existence.

TAMMY: Like a legacy? Pretty short-lived, I’m guessing.

CAM: But at the same time extending whatever legacy the park warden had…. I wonder if they were boyfriend/girlfriend, like Pyramus and Thisbe…

SUSAN: That’s a distinct possibility--you can call that idea in for Aaron’s consideration.

CAM: But I don’t want to do so through Gabby: it just shouldn’t be the whole world’s business.

SUSAN: Or the world of southeast Montana? I’ve got his phone number, Cammy--I can dial him up and hand over to you if you’d like.

GABBY: ‘I can’t tell you enough, Mr Tomlinson, how much I appreciate your work and investment--the best kind of investment, not obsessed with dollars and cents--in our community.’

AARON: ‘I’d say the pleasure is mine, Gabby, though pleasure will come in finding the lost and pulling each other up when we’re down.’

GABBY: ‘Eloquent and on point. All good wishes for today in that regard. And as we wrap this segment of the morning drive, I’ll leave you with the final song from Beck’s album “Modern Guilt”--a haunting ballad that may provide a veil of hope, despite the face of things. Back after the break, folks; safe transit.’

            BECK’s ‘Volcano’ plays out as the Plumlees drive on:

‘I’ve been walking on these streets so long
I don’t know
where they’re calling me anymore

But I think I must have seen a ghost
I don’t know
if it’s my illusions that keep me alive

I don’t know what I see--
was it all an allusion?
or a mirage gone bad?
o-o-o-oh, I’m tired of evil
and all the things that I don’t know

And I’ve been drifting on this wave so long
I don’t know
if it’s already crashed on the shore

And I’ve been riding on this train so long
I can’t tell
if it’s you or me who is driving us into the ground

I don’t know if I’m sane--
but there’s a ghost in my heart
that’s trying to see in the dark
o-o-o-oh, I’m tired of people
who only want to be pleased
but I still want to please you

And I heard of that Japanese girl
who jumped into the volcano--
was she trying to make it back,
back into the womb of the world?

I’ve been drinking all these tears so long
all I’ve got
left is the taste of salt in my mouth

I don’t know where I’ve been
but I know where I’m going--
to that volcano
o-o-o-oh, I don’t want to fall in though
So I want my bones on the firing line’


Daniel Martin Vold Lamken (2017)

No comments:

Post a Comment