Clinic Skeleton

DOC: How’re we doing today?

PAT: We, like you and me?

DOC: I’m fine, thanks; just a way of—

PAT: We’re fine, Doc, you and me.

DOC: That’s good. It’s important to be, well,

PAT: So I’m well, you’re saying, tests and all. That’s really great, because—

DOC: Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

PAT: What’s that s’posed to mean?

DOC: You know that expression, ‘forest for the trees’?

PAT: No, not really.

DOC: Well, a doctor’s job—and yours, too, when it comes down to it, is—

PAT: I’m a welder, by the way. Union certified.

DOC: Hmm. Join things by melting, yes?

PAT: By ‘smelting’, we like to say. Steel and copper alloys for your ‘things’.

DOC: So, to change my analogy, you can appreciate, then, the ‘bridge for the rivets’.

PAT: I’m kinda more under kitchen sinks, if you know what I mean.

DOC: A plumber, then?

PAT: A welder.

DOC: Yes, well, you know how things work. The body is quite intricate, tubes and valves and—

PAT: Are you comparing me to a kitchen sink?

DOC: You brought that up, actually. But with a little imagination, why not?

PAT: Fair enough. I’m that, then.

DOC: Are you interested in the details?

PAT: Of?

DOC: Of your condition.

PAT: Depending what it is.

DOC: Listen, Pat, this isn’t going to be easy.

PAT: What’s that s’posed to mean?

DOC: Exactly what I said: “not going to be easy.”

PAT: You said “isn’t”.

DOC: Correct. Is not.

PAT: What isn’t?

DOC: Your life, including new limitations.

PAT: Like what?

DOC: Like giving up smoking, for one.

PAT: Booze, for two?

DOC: First things first. You have stage 3 cancer, Pat, starting in the lungs.

PAT: And?

DOC: And that’s not good. This type tends to find the lymph system soon.

PAT: And that’s when I’d have to give up booze. Down the drain, like a kitchen sink.

DOC: Is the greater reality sinking in?

PAT: Are you trying to be funny?

DOC: The opposite. I feel more concerned than you appear right now.

PAT: I feel fine, actually.

DOC: Physically? The pain kicks in at stage 4.

PAT: I rolled the better number, then.

DOC: But mentally? How are you, um,

PAT: How am I understanding things?

DOC: Yeah, how?

PAT: Like you said, the pipes need tightening. Which reminds…

DOC: Wait, what are you doing?

PAT: I don’t think you checked me enough.

DOC: But that doesn’t mean—

PAT: But this is the way it’s been done since—

DOC: Nurse, um, would you mind coming in?

PAT: Why would the nurse need to come?

DOC: Why wouldn’t, you mean.

PAT: No, that’s not what I said. Why—

NURSE: Yes?

PAT: He-l-lo!

NURSE: Huh?

DOC: Exactly. Assuming a bit much, I’d say.

NURSE: Emphasis on ‘a bit’!

PAT: What’s that s’posed to mean?

DOC: This wing is oncology; this office specializes in the respiratory system.

PAT: And lymph, right?

DOC: Awareness of—that’s always what oncologists do.

NURSE: You can get your clothes back on. Or—

PAT: Or?

NURSE: Or, Doctor, shall I bring a robe?

DOC: We’re not that far yet, only having—

PAT: We? Like all of us are stage 3?

NURSE: Is there something here I’m missing? April First, or—

PAT: There’s that ‘or’ again. You’re a mine o’ mystery!

DOC: No joking matter, Pat: you are facing a radical change these upcoming months.

PAT: Or?

DOC: Lymph, liver, brain to follow lungs.

NURSE: Stage 3’s for catching these.

PAT: That’s why you need to check me.

DOC: In due time, in due time.

NURSE: So what should I prep?

DOC: Nothing yet—got to go through the paperwork.

PAT: The paperwork! That’s what you have in your hands already.

DOC: These are your MRI results, Pat. They needed their own paperwork, remember?

PAT: Paperwork for paperwork. Thought you docs and nurses were in this for the action.

NURSE: What’s that s’posed to mean?

PAT: Hey, now you’re speakin’ my language.

DOC: Pat, let me ask you a question.

PAT: Shoot.

DOC: Do you presently have a significant other in your life?

PAT: You’ll have to ask the nurse.

NURSE: Huh?

PAT: Can’t stop the feeling, can we?

NURSE: We can’t. No, can. Won’t!

PAT: See? Got you discombobulated, baby.

DOC: I think we need to get that robe, after all.

PAT: We again—oh, goody!

DOC: It’s really about you, Pat. You need help right now.

PAT: Don’t we all!

DOC: Healing—that may begin with a little cooperation.

PAT: Ever heard that saying, ‘physician, heal thyself’?

DOC: Sure, but—

PAT: Think it works?

DOC: If I had stage 3 cancer, I’d seek out other doctors.

PAT: So it doesn’t work.

DOC: What?

PAT: Self-healing.

DOC: As I said, you’re going to have to cooperate. For now—

PAT: We’re gonna have to—

DOC: For now, take a breather. Let the system function, paperwork and all. Good?

NURSE: Robe is ready, Doctor.

DOC: Can we secure a suitable room?

NURSE: Fourth Floor, I think.

DOC: You got it. Pat, you coming? Pat? Pat?

NURSE: My God!

DOC: Fainted? or faking it?

NURSE: Maybe both.

DOC: What’s that s’posed to mean?

Daniel Martin Vold Lamken (2020)